


Trust the Love Experts: Relationship Advice from Keith Kogane

by SalParadiseLost



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bad Relationship Advice, Fluff, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith is an embarrassing, Lance (Voltron) is So Done, Love Triangles, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Lance (Voltron), Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Relationship Advice, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Socially Awkward Keith (Voltron), cosmo magazine, klance, lance is so confused, please don't take this love advice, poor baby, the love experts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-22
Packaged: 2020-03-09 19:29:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18923557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SalParadiseLost/pseuds/SalParadiseLost
Summary: Keith doesn’t consider himself a very romantic boy. He likes knives, the colour black and has never seen a rom-com in his life.But he’s going to need to be romantic because he’s hopelessly in love with his best friend, Lance McClain and he has finally worked up the nerve to ask him out. But after a disastrous attempt that only left him more friend-zoned than ever before. He's frustrated, pining, and desperately wants to kiss Lance’s face off. He’s further from being Lance’s boyfriend than ever, but luckily, he’s about to get a little help from an unlikely source: an article from Cosmopolitan magazine called, 10 Steps to Seduce Your Man!Basically, a fluff fic in which Keith is a complete disaster that gets some of the worst romantic advice ever. And despite the fact that Lance may be the most oblivious boy to walk the Earth, the advice kinda sorta works?





	1. Chemistry (or maybe the lack of)

**Author's Note:**

> 10 Steps to Seduce Your Man!  
> 1\. Eye contact- let him know you’re interested through long stares  
> 2\. Touch him- men communicate through touch so help him get the message  
> 3\. Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being  
> 4\. Talk sexy, not dirty  
> 5\. Sex up what you’re wearing   
> 6\. Cut him in line at Starbucks like an asshole, then pay for his drink like an angel  
> 7\. Keep him out of the loop- he’ll miss you more!  
> 8\. Reach into his pocket for his keys (he’ll think you’re reaching for something else)  
> 9\. Spritz perfume into your hair- he’ll have to lean in to smell it  
> 10\. When you’re parting, smile coyly back
> 
> I'm so proud to finally be able to publish this fic! I wrote this for the Klance Pinefest, which was an absolutely joy to both mod and participate in! Special thank you to the Happychat for support, Lance for being my best friend and Mezzo for making art for this fic! (you can see it on my tumblr!) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading about Keith being an absolute pining disaster!

Keith sighed as he studied the table in front of him.  It was old, cracked and the thin paint on top of it was peeling, revealing the cheap wood underneath. The edges were potmarked and nicked with obvious signs of students stressfully wearing down the wood. In the corners were small doodles, pictures of dicks and boobs and dogs wearing sunglasses. Mindlessly, he began scratching a small picture of a rocket ship into the table’s collection.

After finishing, he sighed again and turned his attention to the textbook that laid out in front of him. It was thick and practically all text with no pictures. Just glancing at it was making him want to groan. So, he turned back to the doodle and began drawing a planet for the spaceship to be blasting off to.

“Hey, cortadito,” Lance’s voice startled him out of his thoughts, the familiar nickname slipping from his tongue easily. Keith twitched at the word, but didn’t stop scribbling the spaceship. He heard Lance from the other end of the table.

“You know you can’t be drawing on the wood. A librarian will kill you if you get caught.” He hissed, nudging Keith’s foot with his own under the table. Keith immediately kicked back, grinning when he heard Lance yelp in surprise. He looked up and saw Lance looking completely affronted and ready to kick him back. But before he could, a loud cough drew their attention and they saw the girl sitting at the desk glaring at them from over her magazine.

Her eyes were narrowed and she lifted two of her fingers, creating an obvious “I’m watching you” gesture at the two of them. They both nodded nervously and let out a breath of relief went she went back to reading.

“You kicked me so much harder than I nudged you.” Lance hissed under his breath, turning back to Keith.

He squared his shoulders and defiantly stuck out his chin. “You shouldn’t have nudged me in the first place then.” Keith paused, his scowl deepening. “And I told you not to call me that dumb nickname.”

Lance smirked, his mouth quirking crookedly. “Well I happen to love that nickname, so good luck trying to convince me not to use it, cortadito.”

“I fucking hate it. It’s probably the stupidest thing you’ve ever come up with.”

Lance reeled back, putting a hand over his heart in mock offense. Keith couldn’t help, but smile a little bit at his best friend’s dramatic antics. He would never admit how much he loved them to Lance, of course.

Lance looked like he wanted to argue more, but gave up halfway through. Keith wasn’t sure whether it was because he was actually done with his dramatics or whether he didn’t want to risk the wrath of the desk girl again.

“Whatever,” the boy muttered, “but still you can’t draw on the desk. They’re going to ban you from the library.”

Keith rolled his eyes, and added a little shading to the flames bursting from the spaceship. “They’re not going to ban me. Dozens of people draw on the desk.”

“Well, let’s not risk it. I don’t want to have to find another study buddy.” Lance said with a crooked grin that showed the dimples on his cheeks.

Keith tried to fight it, but the words make his poor gay heart flutter. To think that someone as wonderful as Lance would purposefully seek him out, Keith almost couldn’t believe it.

When they first met, they had immediately hated of each other because of an incident that included pancakes, gorilla glue, and a rubber ducky and avoided each other like the plague. Fortunately for them, their pushy friends hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer and after getting to know each other, their hatred had tempered into a playful rivalry.

Despite their rough start, Keith could confidently say that they were friends.

And yet, Keith also knew that he desperately wanted that to change.

He wasn’t blind. He knew how good-looking Lance was with his perfect lean, toned body, and his amazing ass and his ocean-blue eyes that Keith could drown in. But even more than that, he knew how great of a person Lance was.

He was the boy who could light up a room and make anyone feel like they were the most important person on the planet. He was loud, but he was also a listener and willing to help friends through tough times. He could make friends with anyone, a point proven by being able to become friends with Keith of all people.

He was just so good.

Too good for Keith, but that didn’t stop his huge crush. He wanted to go on a date with Lance. He desperately wanted to try and be something more.

And before he could talk himself out of it, he started to ask.

“Hey Lance,” he said, while nervously worrying the page of his textbook and fighting to keep his eyes forward. His heart sped in his chest, beating a tattoo against his ribcage. “I think, I would like us to be more than study buddies.”

There was silence in the library, but Keith could hear the blood pounding in his ears. Something sunk low in his stomach and a voice in the back of his head congratulated him for fucking up the best friendship he’d ever had in his life. He wanted the world to open up under him, to swallow him whole, to end his sad little life because he should NOT have said that.

He was going to ruin this.

He already _had_ ruined this. His friendship was over. Any chance at romance was very, _very_ over. He was never going to get a guy like Lance. He was just going to die alone, in his apartment and probably eaten by his three cats. No one would find-  
  
“Of course, we more than study buddies-“ wait, did Lance just say that. Maybe romance wasn’t lost? “we’re best friends, Keith. I mean, I thought that was pretty obvious.”

The world came crushing down again. Keith’s hope fell and shattered on the ground like a piece of glass. Lance sat across from him, looking so innocent, so hopeful, so… beautiful.

But as a friend and only a friend…

“Yeah, of course, Lance. Of course, we’re best friends.” Keith forced a smile, trying not to let his voice crack.  He felt a sob well up in his throat and choked it down. He kept smiling, clenched his fists and desperately tried ignore the pain of his fingernails digging into his skin.

Lance was peering up at him curiously. His eyebrows were scrunched together and his lips were pursed. He even tilted his head to the left a little, just like a confused puppy. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked hesitantly, obviously trying to figure out what is bothering Keith.

Keith shook his head and turned back to his textbook. He forced his eyes to go to the text on the page, but didn’t read a single word. He could still feel the other boy’s eyes burning into him and a heavy guilt washed through his veins.

“okay…” Lance said, trailing off, “if you say so.”

They were quiet for a couple moments, both in their own thoughts. Keith was desperately trying not to panic. Nervousness rolled around in his stomach and he simultaneously wanted to cry, throw up and punch something. Part of him was screaming _just get out of there!_ But the lovestruck idiot in him told him to stay.

Anything to spend just a couple more moments with Lance.

God, even after being rejected, he was still lost on the boy.

Keith was caught up in his own thoughts, until suddenly he heard the sound of Lance’s backpack opening and the rustle of him moving his things.

He looked up and saw that the boy was putting away his things.

Keith immediately started to panic again. Had he said something wrong again? Was Lance leaving him for good? Were they even going to still be friends anymore?

Did Lance hate him?

“Wait, are you leaving?” he tried to say nonchalantly, but even to his own ear, his voice came out pressed and small. Lance caught his eye and gave him a concerned look, which told him that he obviously wasn’t hiding his nervousness very well.

“Well, yeah, I’m leaving it’s four o’clock.”

Keith blinked, not knowing what four o’clock had anything to do with this. The other boy gave an amused huffed and shoved another book into the bag.

“I have to go meet Hunk at 4:30, Keith. For the Physics project, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” Keith said even though he hadn’t remembered at all, “Hunk. Physics. The project. Yep.”

He hoped he had sounded normal, but Lance was staring, so probably not…

Then, suddenly, there was a hand on his forehead and Keith just about died. Lance was close, deliciously close, and looked at him with huge, concerned eyes that just made him want to melt. He could see everything. Lance’s slightly chapped lips. Lance’s long eyelashes that fluttered on top of his cheek every time he blinked. Lance’s amazingly smooth skin and sharp cheekbones that Keith just wanted to run his tongue across.

Everything about this boy was just so fucking perfect. Keith wondered for a second if maybe he had died and if he had crossed over to the afterlife, was this heaven or hell?  

“Are you sure you’re okay, Keith? You seem really warm.” His eyes glanced over his face. “And you seem really red. Maybe you’re getting sick?” The other boy worried his lip and looked at Keith with concern.

He shook his head, dislodging Lance’s hand. “I’m fine. I promise.” He looked down unable to meet Lance’s eyes, and he didn’t see the hurt look that crossed Lance’s face.

Lance sighed and Keith heard him shift his things again. “Alright, so I’m going to go now. I’ll see you later, cortadito.”

He raised his head and watched as the boy began to leave. He didn’t even have it him to balk at the dumb nickname again. As he watched the boy leave, a small part of him wanted to reach out, to reach out a turn the boy around and kiss his face off.

He wanted to be more than friends. He wanted it more desperately than anything that he had ever wanted anything before.

And, for a moment, he thought he could have it all. That he could be the hero and get the boy and be madly in love with his best friend all at the same time.

But now, he could see how stupid he had been.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. What does he do now?

“Wow, man, that’s rough.” Suddenly, a voice from his left, jogged him out of his thoughts and made him jerk his head up.

The girl that had been glaring at them earlier was now looking at him with cool sympathy over the magazine. She just chewing a piece of gum and loudly popped it when their eyes met.

“What?” he stuttered over the word. He hadn’t been aware that he was being watched.

“You just tried to ask your best friend out, right?” she said and he nodded silently, “But now you’re more friend-zoned than ever. Like I said that’s rough.” Her eyes flicked back down to her magazine.

“I just, I just…” Keith didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure that he could say anything. “I don’t know what to do?”

The girl looked back up with a bored look on her face. “Look, I’m not a marriage counsellor. I don’t know what you should do.”

“oh, yeah, right of course,” Keith stumbled over the words, feeling more pathetic than ever before. He desperately tried to get himself together, to take the emotion and swallow them down. He would never get to act of them, so he should just get rid of them.

It didn’t matter that he felt like his world was falling apart, he couldn’t let others see him breaking.

He swallowed and met the girl’s bored look. He hoped that he looked more collected than he felt, but he must have obviously failed because the girl’s face softened. She bit her lip and then gave a heavy sigh.

“Look, I don’t think I can be much help,” she said, leaning back in her chair. The magazine crinkled loudly with the movement. “But, here, try reading this.”

She reaching out, holding the magazine forward. Its shiny cover showed a woman in a flowy dress mid-laugh and had bold pink font running across the top.

Keith took the magazine, holding it close to read the cover. “Cosmopolitan?” he asked hesitantly and the girl nodded eagerly.

“These people are professionals. They know what they’re talking about.”

He blinked, tilting his head a bit in confusion. There were love professionals?

How had he never known this and could these people really help him win over Lance?

The girl must have seen his bafflement because she barrelled forward, grabbing the magazine out of his hands and quickly flipping him to a specific page.

“Here, I think that this article in particular could help you.” She laid the magazine flat on the table and Keith peered forward to look at the colourful article. The whole page was filled with bright neon pink boxes and a bold text that read:

_ 10 Steps to Seduce Your Man! _

  1. _Eye contact- let him know you’re interested through long stares_
  2. _Touch him- men communicate through touch so help him get the message_
  3. _Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being_
  4. _Talk sexy, not dirty_
  5. _Sex up what you’re wearing_
  6. _Cut him in line at Starbucks like an asshole, then pay for his drink like an angel_
  7. _Keep him out of the loop- he’ll miss you more!_
  8. _Reach into his pocket for his keys (he’ll think you’re reaching for something else)_
  9. _Spritz perfume into your hair- he’ll have to lean in to smell it_
  10. _When you’re parting, smile coyly back_



 

His eyes popped open in surprise and he quickly blinked between the girl and the steps written out on the page. Could it possibly be that simple? Could love actually be broken down into such simple steps?

“These work?” He said in shock and, against his will, he felt a small bit of hope rising in his stomach. Maybe he couldn’t win Lance on his own… but with a little help maybe he actually had a chance.

“Of course, the steps work,” the girl scoffed indignantly, “Do you think that they would publish it if it didn’t work?”

“I guess not…” Keith admitted as he read over the steps again. He just couldn’t believe that so called “love professionals” actually came up with this stuff. If he was being honest with himself, all the steps seemed utterly ridiculous. Cutting Lance in line at Starbucks? Spraying perfume in his hair? Putting his hand into Lance’s pocket to make him think about hand jobs?

These things couldn’t actually work right? This had to be some kinda of cosmic joke and yet…

Keith was desperate… very desperate.

Desperate enough to try anything.

“okay,” he said, his voice getting firmer. He felt some of his confidence come back to him and a bright spark of hope flare up in his chest. “Okay.” He repeated with a grin on his face now. “I’m going to do it. I’m going to win Lance’s heart with this magazine!” A rush of excitement went threw him and he waved the magazine like a trophy. He was smiling widely, and hadn’t even noticed practically the entire library was staring at him.

A blush instantly flushed across his face and he shied back, cursing his moment of indiscretion. He began to turn to walk away, but caught himself when he realised that he still had the girl’s magazine in his hand.

“Wait, I’m sorry. I almost stole this.” He tried to give it back, but the girl only waved him off.

“No, you take it. You obviously need it more than I do.”

Keith allowed himself a small smile. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me, thank the ‘love professionals’ for giving you a chance.”

He paused, worrying his lip a little bit as his thoughts drifted to Lance again. Lance was… he was wonderful and everything in Keith’s world. He was bright and happy and just so _good_. So much better than him.

And with Lance being so much more than he deserved did he really have a chance?

“Hey, hotshot,” The girl’s voice cut through his thoughts again, drawing him away from all the self-deprecation. “I can see you psyching yourself out, but don’t. You have a chance and you might not realise it yet, but that idiot boy is head over heels for you too.” She scoffed a little to herself and rolled her eyes. “I mean, I literally just watched you two flirt with each other for three hours. If that isn’t puppy love, I don’t know what is.”

Keith was taken aback. He didn’t think that they had been flirting. They definitely hadn’t been _in love_ with each other. But maybe, she was right about one thing…

He had a plan.

Keith had a plan now. He couldn’t believe it but he had a plan and he was going to use it to finally win Lance’s heart.

“Thank you,” he said again, risking sounding like a broken record, but not really caring. This girl, this wonderful girl who had given him his hope back. Because now, he was going to win get Lance’s love.

With one final “thanks” and an annoyed “now get your ass out of my library before I call security on you, lover boy”, Keith finally packed up and began to head home.

 

When he got home and showed Pidge his genius idea, she was remarkably less than impressed. In fact, she thought that is was down-right terrible.

“You’re doing what.” She deadpanned and gave him one of the driest looks he had ever received. He was standing in Pidge’s room, lit up with the glow of her laptop. She had been sitting at her desk, fingers flying and writing indecipherable code. When Keith came in, she looked up and her typing slowed down. That was about as warm as a greeting as you get from Pidge.

“I’m going to make Lance fall in love with me.”

She blinked, swivelling around in her chair and facing him fully. She rolled her eyes and ran a hand through her hair. “I mean, yeah, I know that. You two have been mooning over each other for years now. It was about time you recognised that you were stupidly in love with each other.”

Keith ignored her and pulled out the magazine from where he had stuffed it in his backpack. He flipped to the _“10 Steps to Seduce Your Man!”_ with a flourish and he laid the magazine out in front of her.

She took one look at the page before bursting out into laughter. Her small body shuddered with the sound and she bent over, holding her stomach. At seeing her humour, Keith couldn’t help the flare of stubbornness that rose in his chest. Her laughter faded when she realised that Keith wasn’t, in fact, joking.

“Keith, you can’t be serious.”

“Of course, I’m serious.”

“But, these steps are ridiculous. ‘Sex up what your wearing?’ Keith, the only thing you have in your closet are cheap jeans and old Hot Topic shirts. That hardly screams sexy.”

The boy stuck out his chin and crossed his arms over his chest. “They’re not all from Hot Topic.”

“Yeah, that’s because the only ones that aren’t from Hot Topic, are the ones that Shiro bought you and I hardly call that a fashion sense.”

Keith shook his head. “That’s beside the point, I can go shopping and I’ll figure it out.”

Pidge raised an eyebrow. “But you hate shopping.”

“I said, I’ll figure it out.”

“Okay, fine. Let’s talk about your delusional fashion sense later, and go back to the fact that these ‘steps’”-she put air-quotes around the word- “are absolutely ridiculous and have no chance of working.”

He ignored her again, and only kept pointing to the steps. “You’re missing the point, Pidge. These steps are from _love professionals._ They literally get paid to research this stuff, so, of course, the steps are going to work.”

Pidge huffed, “I hardly think that their research would be called true science”. She reached out, taking the magazine and flipping through a couple of pages. Her doubt only increased and met Keith’s eyes with disbelief. When she saw the stubbornness in his eyes, though, she gave up her argument and put the magazine down.

“Alright. I think that this is the singularly dumbest idea that you’ve ever had in your life, but fine.” If this is what you want to do then I’m not going to stop you.”

Keith couldn’t help a small grin and swallowed down the uneasy feeling of self-doubt. He hadn’t even realised how much Pidge’s approval meant to him. His hope just kept getting brighter and it felt realer than ever before. Maybe… maybe everything was going to go right for once.

He looked back down to Pidge and saw her staring up at him. She had a small crooked smile on her face and Keith instantly narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion.

“What,” he asked warily.

Her smile only widened, “nothing.” She chirped, trying to turn away from Keith, failing when he caught her shoulder.

“I know that look and I know that it’s not nothing, so spill it.”

“Fine. Okay, edgelord. It’s just nice.”

“What’s nice?”

“To see you acting like a fool in love. You’re always so stressed out and serious, so it’s just nice to see you loosen up a bit.”

“I’m not stressed out all the time,” he grumbled, looking at the floor and letting some hair fall in his face.

Pidge looked at him and smiled affectionately. She rose from her chair and began walking out of the room towards the living room. “Come on, Keith. Let’s play some videogames and get your mind off of it.”

He followed her out of the room, feeling more confident than when he had walked in.

Tomorrow would be good. Tomorrow he would initiate his plan and follow all the steps.

Tomorrow he would win Lance’s heart.


	2. Start Small (and with some staring)

Keith woke up that morning and quickly realised that he had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

He was sitting in bed, hair ruffled and sleep still dragging at his eyes. He reached out and took the magazine off of the bedside table, pulling it into bed with him.

The lady on a cover was still laughing on the glossy paper, but now he got the distinct feeling that she was laughing at him. Maybe he was really an idiot for thinking that this could possibly work. Maybe he was delusional for thinking that love really could be boiled down into ten simple steps.

But what other choice did he have, his attempt to ask Lance out had already failed miserably and he didn’t have enough faith in himself to try again so. Hell, knowing himself, he would probably mess it up so bad that Lance would stop talking to him.

Then he wouldn’t have a boyfriend or a best friend,

And he would die alone and sad in an apartment, probably eaten by his own cats.

He groaned and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. This day was already turning out so wonderfully.

 _Come one, Keith,_ he thought to himself _get it together. The steps will work. You just gotta start small and work up from there._

He breathed through his nose, a little bit of his confidence returning to him. Start small. Yes, he could do that. He could do that easily.

He looked back down at the magazine and flipped to the section where the love steps were. They seemed so simple, so easy, but still like the hardest thing that Keith had ever attempted to do.

With a glance down the page, he read over the steps again mentally trying to pick out which of them seemed like the easiest to follow.

He definitely wouldn’t be starting with something dramatic like _5\. Sex Up What You’re Wearing_ or _7\. Keep him out of the loop- he’ll miss you more!._  To be honest, he wasn’t sure he had the confidence to pull off either of those right now.

Then his eye caught on step number one: _Eye Contact- Let him know you’re interested through long stares._ He felt a little bit of confidence grow in him.

Yes, he could do that. He could definitely do that. Eye contact was easy and he already stared at Lance when he wasn’t looking, so it would be easy to just make sure that Lance sees him staring.

Anyways, he definitely wouldn’t give up an opportunity to look at Lance _more_. The boy was absolutely beautiful and he had to keep himself from just kissing his face off at every moment in the day.

So yeah, unabashedly staring at Lance the entire day wouldn’t be hard at all. Hell, he might even consider it a goddamn gift.

With his plan in place, Keith swung his legs out of bed and began packing up his bag for his ten o’clock class. He shoved in books, papers, some random pens he had laying around, and then finally, right before he left, he carefully slipped in the magazine.

Believe it or not, he thought that maybe he was ready to do this.

 

He rushed to class and just managed to slip in a couple minutes before the professor got there. The class was Intro. Calculus and was one of the few classes that Lance, Pidge and Hunk all had together. Honestly, it was ridiculous that Pidge and Hunk had to take the class, but because of some stupid credit requirement, they ended up stuck in it.

It was fine, though, because they all sat in the back and pretty much just goofed off the entire time.

With a sigh, he tugged the strap on his backpack and began to walk up the stairs of the large lecture hall to the area where they all sat. When he got there, Pidge and Hunk were already sitting in their usual place. Pidge was leaned forward, chin resting on her arms and Hunk was turned towards Keith, smiling warmly.

“Hey Keith,” he greeted “How’s it going?”

“Going good,” he responded sliding into his chair. Pidge met his eyes and peered at his face curiously.

Keith narrowed his eyebrows, not sure why she was looking at him like that.

Pidge’s bored expression, twisted into a little smirk and she leaned towards him across Hunk. “Are you starting your little plan today?”

“I’ll have you know that I am, in fact, going to continue my plan today.” He said while sticking out his chin. He met Pidge’s eyes in a challenge and together they waged a silent battle.

Hunk looked between them, utterly confused with absolutely no idea what was going on. “What plan?” he asked and Pidge answered before Keith could.

“last night, Keith had a genius idea.”

“It’s a good plan.” He snapped in his defence, easily rising to Pidge’s bait. He crossed his arms over his chest and pointedly looked away from her.

Hunk looked between the two again, “Guy, please don’t fight” He said, trying to calm the two down. Pidge still looked entirely too smug with herself, and Keith was way too stubborn to give up now.  Hunk sighed, meeting Keith’s eyes. “I’m sure it’s a good plan.”

Pidge snorted into her hand, and he levelled her with a glare. Unfortunately, that only made her giggle more.

Keith opened his mouth to explain why his plan wasn’t stupid and why it would definitely work, but before he could, the door slammed open.

“and that would be Lance,” chirped Pidge, and, sure enough, Lance was standing at the front of the room, looking windswept and ruffled.

In that moment, Keith felt something tight and anxious in his chest, simply melt away. His breath caught in his lungs, his heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t take his eyes off the beautiful boy that was climbing up the stairs.

Usually, Lance looked impeccable, always put together and polished to a shine. But today, his hair was flying everywhere, he had dark circles under his eyes, and he looked about three seconds away from falling asleep standing up. And despite how rough he looked, Keith couldn’t help, but think that there was something so endearing about it. He desperately wanted to smooth Lance’s hair down and try to wash away some of the exhaustion caught in his eyes.

Maybe, if his plan worked he would get a chance to do those things someday. But for now, he had to focus on romancing the hell out of Lance’s heart.

The other boy finally reached their level and flopped into the seat beside Keith. He dramatically dropped everything he was carrying on the floor, and let out a huge sigh.

Lance met his eyes and gave him a quick nod before flicking his eyes away. This was the point that Keith would usually break his stare and look away to follow social contract. It was also how he hid his affection, how he made sure that Lance didn’t expect anything more than friendship. He started to turn his head, before he froze.

He remembered his plan and the magazine sitting heavily in his backpack. He remembered his flickering hope and the promise that he had made to himself that morning. He remembered that he had a chance, not only to be Lance’s best friend, but also his boyfriend.

And so, Keith gave into his desires and he allowed himself to stare and drink in the boy in front of him. He let himself peruse Lance’s freckles, light and spattered across the bridge of his nose. He had always wanted to count them, to spend a morning lying in bed, dappled in light and lazily counting the freckles on Lance’s body.

At first, everything was normal. Lance spent a couple minutes greeting Hunk with a quick handshake and they chatted about their physics project. Pidge would cut in every couple comments and soon the trio was laughing easily between themselves.

It was easy. It was familiar. It was something that Keith had never thought he would get to have in his life. He had always been the loner, the outsider, the kid that sat by himself at the edge of the playground. He kept to himself and didn’t talk to anyone unless he had to.

He had always thought that it would stay that way. That he was the quiet boy in the corner and someday he would grow into the quiet man in the corner.

At least he thought that that was the way that his life was going to be until of course, Lance burst into his life.

He couldn’t help smiling as he thought about Lance and kept his eyes glued to the beautiful boy.

He knew he wasn’t being subtle, but today he wasn’t concerned with subtlety. His goal was the exact opposite in fact, he _wanted_ Lance to notice him. After all these years of swallowing his feelings and holding back on doing the things he actually wanted to do, it felt so good to let himself have this.

He kept staring, feeling a little piece of himself melt inside with every moment he looked at Lance. His goal was to make him notice, and, sure enough, Lance was noticing.

The professor had started talking and Lance had turned towards her to listen to the lecture. But he kept flicking his eyes to Keith, his brows furrowing in confusion. After about, a dozen eye flicks between Keith and the professor, Lance made an annoyed sound and nudge him in the side.

“Dude, what?” he hissed, “I know I look terrible, but you don’t have to stare at me because of it.” He met his eyes, but kept nervously flicking them away. It was strange to see Lance so flustered, and warmth flooded into Keith’s chest. He had made Lance into a blushing mess.

It was working! His plan was working!

“Keith, really, is there something on my face?” he said with an embarrassed chuckle. He was fully turned towards Keith and completely ignoring the professor. Lance was desperately trying to figure out what Keith was staring at. He was smoothing down his hair with one hand and even pulled out his phone to try to look at his face in its black mirror. The boy’s mouth was in a flat line and his cheeks were completely flushed with embarrassment. Finally, he broke Keith’s gaze and stared down at the desk in front of him, his face completely red.

He risked a look back to Pidge and Hunk and saw that they were swivelling their heads between Lance and Keith like it was a tennis match. They must be so proud of him.

His smile grew and pride welled up again. This was actually working. He was only at step one and Lance was already blushing because of his flirting.  He had never had this much luck in his life. These love experts really knew what they were talking about.

“fine, don’t tell me.” Lance grumbled. He leaned forward on the desk, resting his chin on his folded arms. He refused to make any more eye contact.

Keith turned back to the lecture too, but could hardly focus on anything except the high of success. He couldn’t believe he had doubted himself.

Granted, he wasn’t the only one who doubted his plan and he shifted to give Pidge a smug smirk. But right before he could, he hesitated. Hunk was looking at him with a disappointed expression and Pidge had her face buried in her palms.

He glanced back down to Lance who was still pointed ignoring him.

 _What_ he mouthed to them and watched Hunk nudge Pidge. She lifted her head and rolled her eyes. _What?!_ He tried again, his lips twitching in annoyance.

Hunk shook his head and Pidge quickly wrote something on a piece of paper. When she finished, she held it up in a way that Lance couldn’t see.

“You hurt his feelings, dumbass.”

Keith frowned and looked back at Lance. He was blushing and refusing to meet his eyes, no matter how much Keith was trying to catch his attention. Wasn’t this how love always started in rom-com? Granted, he had never watched a rom-com in his life, but that’s what seemed like that’s what happened first.

Pidge probably didn’t know what she was talking about, he assured himself. He was following exactly what the magazine said, and they had love experts. Pidge certainly wasn’t a love expert.

So, with a confidence in himself. He ignored the disappointed look that Pidge and Hunk were giving him. He knew his plan was working.

The rest of the lecture went like normal, except for the fact that Keith kept staring at Lance, and Lance was trying desperately to ignore Keith staring at him. Hunk and Pidge were seemingly done with his shit and talked amongst themselves quietly.

As the class ended, Lance silently packed up his things and promptly ran out of the room like a bat out of hell.

Keith was feeling pretty proud of himself until Pidge rounded on him.

“What the fuck, Keith. What the hell were you doing?”

He blinked, taking a step back. “You know what I’m doing. I’m winning Lance’s heart.”

“Yeah, well you don’t do that by making him feel terrible about himself.”

Keith’s thoughts came to a halt, and his confidence began to whither. No, he hadn’t done that. Right? He had been trying to flirt with Lance!

“What?” he said dumbly as he was trying to fit what Pidge was saying with what he thought had done.

“But he was blushing” he stuttered, weakly trying to defend himself.

Pidge put her hands on her hips “Because he was embarrassed dumbass. You know how much he cares about looking about looking good, so do you really think it was a brilliant idea to stare at him while he was looking shitty from an all-nighter.”

“I guess not…” he admitted, “I need to make it up to him.”

Pidge rolled her eyes, but he stance softened. Hunk offered him a gentle smile. “Don’t worry, Keith.” He said, “Lance bounces back from things like this pretty easily.”

Keith nodded and lifted his head. He would make it up to Lance and he knew exactly which “step to seduce your man!” was going to do it.

With a quick goodbye, he left Hunk and Pidge with the plan continuing to unfold in his head.

 

For the rest of the day, Keith went to classes, but his head was caught in his plan, and the possibility of Lance’s love. He had never been this excited or nervous in his life. After years of just watching Lance from afar, it blew his mind that he was actually trying to pursue Lance.

He was so out of his depth though. He had no idea what he was doing.

God, why did he think that he could do this. Was he really that stupid?  Come on, Keith, you-

“hey, cortadito” Lance’s voice broke through his frantic thoughts and Keith felt an involuntary warmth light in his chest. The other boy was walking towards with a bright smile. The sun shone out behind and he looked the loveliest thing that Keith had ever seen in his life.

“hey,” Keith breathed out, drinking in the sight of Lance, even if he was still bedraggled and tired looking.

The boy paused and his bright smile twisted into a small frown. “You’re not going to keep doing that staring thing, are you?” he said warily, edging away from Keith. “Because I get it. I look terrible. I don’t need a constant reminder.”

Keith ducked his head and tried to hide his own blush. “Look, Lance, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with that.” He couldn’t meet Lance’s eyes, and instead stared at his shoe like it was the most interesting thing in the world. He felt Lance’s eyes on the back of his neck, and his cheeks grew hotter with embarrassment.

“Okay, stop, I can’t take it anymore.” Keith startled and his head shot up, “you look like some kinda kicked puppy. We’re cool, cortadito, don’t worry about it.”

Relief instantly filled Keith’s chest and he released a breath he hadn’t even known he had been holding. Lance just had that effect on him, the ability to calm all his nerves and make him feel like the single most important person in the world.

“Dude, seriously, please don’t start with that staring thing again.” Lance said with a chuckle, even though Keith noticed him shuffling his feet nervously. Apparently, his flirting from earlier was still having an effect on him.

Keith smiled gently and watched some of the anxious fidgeting filter out of the other boy. “Nah, we’re good.”

Normally, this would be the point in which both of them would find a table to study at. They would sit five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay.

 _Yet,_ Keith added in his head. By the end of the week, he hoped to be doing some very gay things with Lance.

So that’s when he decided to implement the next stage in his plan: step 2. _Touch him- men communicate through touch so help him get the message_ and hopefully this was going to make Lance a blushing mess in a good way.

He took a deep breath and then with a leap of confidence, he reached out and placed his hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Huh?” Lance looked at him, obviously trying to figure out what Keith was doing. His eyes dropped down to the hand on his shoulder before looking back up at to him. “What?”

“Nothing.”

They stood there awkwardly, with Keith’s hand on Lance’s shoulder and Lance awkwardly trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

After a couples beats of embarrassing tension, Lance find takes a step back with a confused expression on his face.

“Dude. Seriously. What the hell is going on with you today?” Lance dramatically placed his hands on his hips and his expression twisted into a grimace.

“What?”

“You’re doing all this weird shit!” He practically shouted, flinging his arms out and gesturing to all of Keith. It was loud enough to get the attention of a people around them. 

“Lance, you’re making a scene” Keith hissing, curling into himself when he realised that people were staring.

Lance huffed and, before Keith could make another move, he grabbed his arm and pulled the boy into a nearby utility closet.

Keith’s gasp caught in his chest as he realised just how _close_ Lance was. He could feel the other boy’s breath on his cheek and the heat of his body against his. His heart was beating wildly against his ribcage and he desperately wished that he could just sink into the floor. He tried to take a step back, but the hard edge of the shelving dug into his back.

“Private enough for you, Keith?” Lance said with a smirk like he knew exactly what he was doing to Keith.

But that was impossible. Lance didn’t think of him in that way. He thought that they were just friends and nothing more.

“I, uh, yeah” he mumbled, his breath coming out hot and quick. The room suddenly felt incredibly tiny and Keith could swear that the walls were pressing in closer.

Lance shifted and Keith could feel the flex of his muscles through his clothes. “Umm, dude, you okay?” the boy asked, the heat of his breath making Keith’s face flush even more.

This was way more touching then Keith had originally intended. He wasn’t sure that “communicating through touch” meant being shoved into a closet together and pushed chest-to-chest. He was pretty sure that the magazine meant something subtler like brushing his arm or holding his hand.

“Seriously, Keith, you look like you’re about to pass out.” Lance got closer, presumably trying to see his face better in the dim light of the closet.

And that’s when Keith broke. “Lance, please, you have to get away from me.” He choked out, feeling like his heart was about to burst.

Lance froze, his eyebrows raised in a stunned expression. His blue eyes were filled with hurt and Keith felt like a rock had just settled in his stomach. Silence fell between them and the only thing that broke it was the sounds of their breaths.

“I…” Lance started. His voice sounded broken, “What?” he tried again, his arms curling into his chest. He looked so much smaller than he had just a couple minutes ago.

He was still too incredibly close.

“Give me some space. Please you have to go away.”

Lance looked stunned, but he finally took a step back. And Keith remembered how to breathe again. He gasped, closing his eyes for a second, before opening them again. The rock is his stomach grew heavier when he saw the raw hurt in Lance’s eyes.

He hadn’t meant to do that.

“Keith, you can’t mean that. We’re friends. Is it because of the way I look?”

Keith scrunched his face in confusion. “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“Look, I know how terrible I look, you don’t have to shove it in my face or act completely disgusted. I get it.”

With a huff, Lance turned violently and slammed the closet door open. It banged against the wall with a heavy thump and Keith blinked his eyes rapidly from the sudden brightness. Lance stepped into the hallway, before suddenly whipping back around to turn on Keith.

“I’m not perfect, Keith. I’m sorry to burst your fucking bubble.” He spat. His voice was as sharp as a knife, and it cut into Keith’s chest. Then, without another word, he stomped away, leaving Keith alone in the closet.

 _He, he… what?_ Keith thought to himself. Everything was moving too fast. Everything was happening without his control. Everything was going wrong.

He groaned to himself and ran his hands through his hair. A couple people were still lingering and watching as Keith miserable attempt to put himself back together.

“What are you staring at?” He snapped angerly, glaring at anyone who dared look his way. A couple of the people shied away, but a few kept on staring.

And then, without another choice, Keith left.

 


	3. Keep in Touch (and figure out what a ‘sexual being’ is)

 

He will admit that yesterday was completely his fault. Yes, the staring had worked and caused Lance to become a big blushing mess. However, the touching him and subsequent closet scene, that had been a complete and total disaster.

So, his mission today was not only to make up from yesterday, but to also flirt with Lance even harder to recover some lost ground. He also thought that maybe a bit of a change of pace was needed, so instead of touching Lance, Keith was going to complete step number 3: _Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being_.

Keith huffed, leaning against a wall and waiting for Lance. Keith had texted him last night and practically begged him to meet him for Lunch. Luckily, the begging (or the promise of free food) worked and Lance agreed.

He half expects for Lance to just not show up though.

He waited another ten minutes, feeling the anxiety growing bigger and bigger inside him. He felt it begin in his stomach and then move out to his limbs. His toes were scuffing against the floor and his fingers were twitching wildly. He shoved his hands under his armpits to try to ignore them, but couldn’t do anything about his increasingly frantic thoughts.

He took a look around again and didn’t see his favourite blue boy anywhere.

This was it. This was his reality now. He had blown it and he didn’t have a best friend anymore, let alone a possible boyfriend. He just going to be the lonely boy on the playground all over again.

With a sinking feeling, Keith realised that he didn’t want to be the lone wolf again. He desperately didn’t want to be alone again.

“Hey,” said a familiar voice, and Keith whipped his head up. He was met with a pair of amazingly blue eyes and a smile that simply took his breath away. All the anxiety that had been threatening to boil over, simmered down. It wasn’t gone, but it did become manageably and felt less like it was going to choke him out.

Lance was standing there, beautiful in the afternoon light. The ruffled look from yesterday was gone, and today he looked as prepped and put together as a movie star. He was so casually breath-taking and Keith didn’t know how he did it.

Keith couldn’t help smiling gently. “Hey” he replied. He could still feel the awkwardness between them, but it was quickly fading away.

“How have you been doing?” Keith asked, attempting at small talk. Lance raised an eyebrow and looked at him strangely. Keith never made small talk.

“I’m fine. How are you?”

“Good.”

Another awkward silence fell between them before Keith attempted to talk again. “Nice weather we’re having right?”

Apparently, Lance had enough. “Okay, jeez, stop hurting yourself. Let’s just go into the restaurant okay?”

Keith breathed a sigh of relief. He really, really sucked at leading conversations. Together they walked into the restaurant and were seated at a booth together. They sat on the same side, brushing shoulders as they leaned over to read a shared menu.

They chatted a little bit about small comfortable stuff and fell into a familiar rhythm. Lance teased him about his hair and called him “cortadito” (a nickname that Keith _still_ did not approve of). Keith listened dutifully to his dramatic stories and offered quick and witty comments that had Lance bent over in laughter.

 

He was proud of how easily they had slipped back into their friendship, but he also knew that they were blatantly ignoring the elephant in the room.

“So,” Lance began and the easy tone of the breakfast began slipping away. The anxiety in Keith stomach immediately rose into the back of his throat again. He regretted eating so many pancakes for brunch.

“You going to tell me yeah you were acting so weird yesterday?”

“I, umm,” Keith stuttered, unable to get the words out or come up with a good excuse, “No.”

“No?” Lance said, his eyes getting a little hurt again and Keith knew that he had to fix the situation.

“I can’t tell you.”

“You can’t tell me or you won’t tell me?”

Keith huffed, wondering yet again, how he ever got himself into situations like this. This would be so much easier if he knew how to flirt like Lance. “I can’t tell you, or at least not now. But, Lance, I promise it’s not a bad thing. You just have to be patient.”

Keith fell silent, his little speech finished and he watched for Lance’s reaction. The other boy was looking at him curiously, but still keeping a relatively blank face. He couldn’t tell whether he was angry, hurt or surprised and that knowledge only made his nervousness grow.

Finally, Lance spoke. “Okay, I’ll let you keep your secrets. You know how much I like a good surprise.” A little bit of playfulness leaked into his eyes and Keith felt a smile rise to his lips. They both knew how much they liked to challenge each other.

But before Keith could respond, Lance’s attitude changed and the levity was replaced by hesitance. He leaned away from Keith and looked at him with an unreadable expression.

Keith struggled to figure out what had gone wrong. Was it something he said? A look he made? He wanted to ask, but he waited, knowing that Lance would tell him on his own time. Lance was like that. He was deep and earnest, but he often wore his emotions on his sleeve. If there was something bothering him, he tended to say it or at least show it in his actions.

It was just a matter of paying attention, and luckily, Keith found it nearly impossible to not pay attention to Lance.

He fiddled with his hands for a moment, nervously looking between the worn plastic of the table and the other boy. He heaved a sigh, seemingly resigning himself.

“I’m just,” He started then stopped, “You’re not making fun of me, right?”

Keith hadn’t known what he was expecting Keith to say, but that definitely wasn’t it. Why would Lance ever think that? How could he ever believe that Keith would ever make fun of him?

“No!” he said a little too loudly, a growl at the end of the word. Lance startled at the violent response and his eyes popping open in surprise. “I would never do that to you Lance. You’re too good for that. You’re too, too good.”

Lance began shaking his head, and opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Keith cut him off. His emotions were running high and he couldn’t help the next words that came out of his mouth. “Look, I know you don’t believe it, but you’re amazing and honestly, I could never see how someone could possibly make fun of someone as perfect as you.”

Finished with his little speech, Keith sat down heavily into the booth. Only then, did the words begin to repay in his head and he realised he had practically proclaimed his love to Lance in the middle of the restaurant.

Oh god, no. It wasn’t supposed to go like that. He wasn’t supposed to say that.

Lance still hadn’t answered and was looking down at the table. His mouth was in a thin line and his expression was unreadable. He didn’t look up at Keith when he spoke. “You know, when you talk like that it makes me sound like you’re in love with me.” His voice was hollow and the sadness of it struck Keith. He didn’t know why he would sound like that.

“But, thanks, Keith” he raised his head and met his eyes with a bittersweet smile, “you really are a great friend.”

Keith tried to smile back, but his was just as broken. Because he didn’t want to be Lance’s friend, he wanted to be something more. He was trying to win Lance’s heart, yes, but he also knew that if the steps didn’t work and Lance didn’t share his feelings, then he would give up. He would resign himself to be his friend and lock away what he felt and let the love slowly erode with time. For Lance, he was willing to do anything, even swallow down his own heart. “I’m not a good friend, Lance, but I’m trying to be.”

The other boy narrowed his eyes. “Wait, do you mean?”

Keith waved his hand and shrugged off the comment. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just something dumb I said.”

Lance didn’t look convince but he nodded away and turned back to his food. The rest of the meal went back into their rhythm until Lance had to go to another class. They promised to see each other again tomorrow when they would all meet up for a movie night.

With a final goodbye, Lance began rushing off to class and Keith not-so-subtly watched him go. He swore that every angle of that boy was perfect and he had no idea how Lance couldn’t see that. With a sigh, he began get ready to go. He adjusted his bag and his eye caught on the magazines shiny cover.

 _Shit._ He thought to himself. He was supposed to do step three and he had completely forgotten. Dammit, how was he going to get through all these steps if he forgot to do them at all.

He groaned and put his head down on the laminate table.

Love was hard. How the hell did people in movies make it look so easy?

He shifted, putting his arms on the table and resting his head in the crook of his elbow. He wished that he was better at this. Lance deserved someone who could sweep him off his feet and romance him into the sunset. Keith felt more like he was just stumbling around romance and hoping that he’d somehow get it right.

He wished that he had Lance’s confidence and instinct for these things. The boy flirted with people left and right and made it look so easy. But the one times that Keith tried to flirt he just ended up confusing Lance or outright offending him.

He really was pathetic.

He chuckled darkly to himself and pulled out the magazine to review the steps. He got out a pen and crossed out the steps he had already completed.

10 Steps to Seduce Your Man!

  1. ~~Eye contact- let him know you’re interested through long stares~~
  2. ~~Touch him- men communicate through touch so help him get the message~~
  3. Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being
  4. Talk sexy, not dirty
  5. Sex up what you’re wearing
  6. Cut him in line at Starbucks like an asshole, then pay for his drink like an angel
  7. Keep him out of the loop- he’ll miss you more!
  8. Reach into his pocket for his keys (he’ll think you’re reaching for something else)
  9. Spritz perfume into your hair- he’ll have to lean in to smell it
  10. When you’re parting, smile coyly back



 

He didn’t know what to do with step three. He was supposed to do it earlier, but he forgot. He put a question mark by step three. Maybe he could do it tonight when he went to Lance’s apartment for a movie night? That would be subtle right?

 

 _Yes,_ he said to himself. That sounded good. That sounded doable. He could ‘establish himself as a sexual being’ at the apartment while also hiding his feeling. He could flirt with Lance easily and be as suave as the men in the movies.

 

He could do this.

 

 

He couldn’t do this.

He quickly realised as he sat by Lance on the couch that night. He was at Lance’s and Hunk’s apartment and waiting for the movie to begin. Hunk and Pidge were in the kitchen and the smell of burnt popcorn was permeating through the apartment. Hunk had just sprinted to the kitchen to save it from the girl and Keith heard a new bag quickly being made.

Lance had convinced Shiro and Allura to come over and was now taking to them about his plans for the upcoming spring break.

Keith wasn’t listening to the details, though.

He was panicking.

Earlier that day he had promised himself that he would complete the third step: _Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being._

But now, sitting on the couch with Lance’s warm thigh occasionally brushing against his, he realised that he had absolutely no idea what a ‘sexual being’ was or exactly how touching yourself made you one.

Was he supposed to touch something sexy? A part of him that was sexy?

 

He looked down as his own body. He was nothing special. His skin was too pale. His face was just average at best. Despite how much he worked out, he was wiry and had none of the muscles that Shiro boasted. What the hell on him was Lance supposed to find sexy?

 

Then his eyes landed on his crotch. Was _that_ sexy? Was _that_ what the magazine meant? But then, how exactly was Keith supposed to touch his dick in a room full of other people.

 

“Woah, dude, did like your dick offend you or something?” Lance’s voice came right by his face and Keith suddenly felt his warm breath on the shell of his ear. The boy was leaned in close ( _deliciously close)_ and whispering to him. Keith swore that all the blood in his body rushed to his face and he startled, desperately trying to scoot away.

“I, um, no. Why would you think that?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Well maybe from the fact that you’ve been glaring at your lap for the last five minutes.”

Keith blushed even more from being caught. “I was not” he hissed, desperately trying to defend himself. But it was obviously not working.

“Yeah sure you weren’t. Jeez, what’s got your panties in a twist?” He muttered, but then his eyes lit up when he realised his own pun. “ooh is that it? Are your panties in a twist, cortadito?”

Keith glared, annoying rising up in him. “I do not wear panties and you know it.” He growled. “and don’t call me cortadito.”

“Sure, whatever you say, cortadito.” he brushed Keith off with a wave of his hand, but then his eyes deepened with concern. “But seriously, are you alright? You seem like something’s bothering you?”

He looked away, unable to keep Lance’s gaze. Guilt burned through him and he tried to ignore how much this felt like lying. In that moment, he had the urge to just tell him everything, to confess his feelings, to take a chance and maybe, just maybe, have someone to love him back.

But the risk of losing Lance was too great.

“No, I’m good.” He lied, trying to shove down the sadness that welled up. He offered him a smile and luckily Lance seemed to buy it.

“Alright,” he said, settling further into the couch. The slight talking around then he toned down, and it seemed like a movie had been chosen. “are you excited to see this? I heard that it was really scary.” Lance murmured, leaning into Keith’s space again. His thigh was pressed against Keith’s and Keith fought to suppress blushing even more.

In truth, he hadn’t even been paying attention to what the movie options were. He had been distracted by Lance and his subsequent “sexy being” panic. So once again, he lied.

“Yeah, I’m really excited,” he replied, which must have been the right thing to say because Lance’s grin widened.

“That’s great.” He chirped, and suddenly, his hands were caressing Keith’s bicep, “I guess that means I can hold on to you if I get scared, right?”

Keith stuttered, but didn’t pull away when Lance leaned into his space. His face got hot and he gulped. He thought he could handle the other boy’s thigh against his, but now he had Lance’s whole body pressed against him.

His little gay heart felt like it was about to burst.

Around him, he heard the others setting up the movies and the into title sequence begin to play. He still didn’t know what movie it was. He was far too focused on Lance. Lance’s shoulder right up against his. Lance’s hand holding onto his arm. Lance’s breath and his quiet gasps as the movie continued.

He didn’t know how everyone wasn’t completely captivated by Lance and everything he did.

“It’s pretty creepy, right?” Lance whispered, his lips only a couple inches from his.

He was looking up at Keith with those impossibly blue eyes and he felt something warm inside him melt. He had the sudden, desperate urge to just kiss the boy.

Lance was leaning in closer. His eyelashes were fluttering closed and Keith felt his own doing the same.

Until he remembered the plan.

He jerked, startling Lance and almost pushing him off the couch. The other boy squawked and scrambled to keep his balance. Once he settled, he narrowed his eyes and shot Keith a glare.

“What the hell. Why did you push me?” he hissed and it sent Keith’s mind into overdrive as he panicked.

Oh god.

He was ruining this.

He had to do something

He had to do something quick.

He had to do something sexy.

He flailed, trying to be a “sexual being” and then started running his hands over his arms. He just desperately hoped that he appeared sexy. Unfortunately, Lance just looked completely baffled.

“Are you… cold?” he asked slowly and only then did Keith realise that his “sexy hand motion” looked a lot like exaggerated shivering.

He panicked even more, and gaped probably looking like a fish. Lance raised an eyebrow and Keith used his last resort.

He lifted his hand and slapped his palm directly onto his own crotch  

It had the desired effect of drawing Lance’s eyes to his… area. But instead of being wooed, Lance just looked shocked and quickly went completely red. His eyes were as wide as saucers and he was frozen with his mouth open.

Then suddenly, he snapped out of it and all the movement came back to his body. “What the fuck are you doing?” he said frantically and he reached out like he was going to try to tug Keith’s hand away from his crotch, but then thought against it. His hands just ended up waving wildly over Keith’s.

Keith just stubbornly kept his hand there and Lance looked more embarrassed by the minute.

“Keith, please,” Lance begged, his entire face was redder than Keith had ever seen it and Keith was fighting to keep his own blush down.

He shook his head “no” and then slowly lifted his hand. Lance’s eyes tracked it and widened even more when Keith’s palming slowly turning into patting. Keith really, _really_ hoped that this was the magazine meant by “touching yourself”.

Then, there was an awkward cough and both of them jerked their heads up to notice that everyone in the room was staring right at them. Hunk, Pidge, Allura and Shiro, were all staring at them and the movie was running completely ignored in the background. This time Keith couldn’t help that race up the back of his neck.

“Please,” Lance whined again, drawing Keith’s attention back on him. His eyes were large and watery and completely mortified. All the warmth from earlier was gone and replaced with humiliation.

Keith didn’t move his hand, though. He had already committed himself to this so now he had to see this through.

Then, with a sudden movement, Lance swiped one of the throw pillows from the couch and covered Keith’s crotch. He turned away from Keith and gave everyone else in the room a ridiculously big, fake smile.

“Nothing to see here,” he chirped. His voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and his eyes still held a hint of panic. He was obviously trying to get everyone to stop looking at them. Then, after a couple beats, their friends awkwardly began to watch the movie again.

When their eyes were off of them, Lance leaned back into Keith’s space with dangerous narrowed eyes “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“No.” Keith said meekly, suddenly feeling incredibly, incredibly stupid. His hand was still trapped under the pillow and he didn’t dare try to move it again.

“Then, what do you think you are doing?” Lance hissed, his eyes becoming angry slits. Keith gulped and found that the only think he could do was look away, unable to meet Lance’s eyes or give him an answer.

Lance gave an angry huff and leaned away from him. He crossed his arms and glared at the television screen.

Keith desperately tried to catch Lance’s eyes again, but the boy was obviously avoiding him at all costs. His body language was closed off and his mouth was fixed into a straight line. His gaze didn’t waver from the television and the electric light made his face eerily blue. It cast weird shadows on Lance and made the angles of his face sharper.

Eventually, Keith gave up and sunk back into the couch. He desperately wanted to just be eaten by the pillows and to fade away from this situation forever. Across the room, Shiro caught his eye and very obviously mouthed “Are you okay?”

Keith grimaced and broke his eyes, pointing them directly at the TV. He was already blaming himself enough, he didn’t need Shiro to add to the guilt welled up in his stomach.

With a sigh, he admitted defeat to himself and tried to watch the movie. He just desperately wanted to forget about disaster that had just unfolded. Unfortunately, even the jump scares of the horror movie, couldn’t take Lance off his mind.

After an hour, the movie ended and the group back to pack up to go their separate ways. Shiro tried to catch him in a conversation, but Keith just shook his head, effectively cutting his brother off. He sought out Lance, though, but the boy left with a quick goodbye and a claim that ‘he was tired’.

Keith watched him leave with a sinking feeling in his chest and he suspected that he had once again, messed things up.


	4. Bringing Sexy Back (with some pick-up lines and fishnet tights)

The next day, Keith tried to take stock and refocus his efforts.

 

Okay, so the touching himself… it didn’t go terribly, but it didn’t exactly go particularly well. Shiro had called him later that evening to inquire whether he had hit his head on something earlier. Hunk had sent him a text message with the number to the school’s psychological service. And Pidge… Pidge just left him a ten-minute voicemail that consisted entirely of her laughing.

 

Lance, though, had remained stubbornly quiet and Keith thought that was somehow worse than getting anything at all. He groaned and rolled over in his bed. It was late, nearly one o’clock and Keith still hadn’t gotten out of bed. Fortunately, it was Saturday so he didn’t have to go to any classes. Unfortunately, though, he had promised to go with Lance to a party so that means he would have to relive the second-hand embarrassment from yesterday all over again.

 

He didn’t even know if Lance would still want to be seen around him. God, he had really fucked this up hadn’t he.

 

He groaned again and dragged a blanket up over his face. He really wanted to just sink into the bed and never have to face Lance again.

 

He paused, thinking about the very real possibility of running away from school and living off the grid. No, he couldn’t do that. If he did that he would never get to see Lance’s smile again, or to hear his terrible (but also hilarious) jokes or watch his perky ass as he walked away.

 

So, he guessed that being a desert hermit was off the list of possible career paths,

 

He highly doubted that his awkward crotch patting wooed Lance, so he guessed it was time for the next step in his masterplan. With a sigh, he leaned over on his bed and pulled out the magazine. With a pen, he crossed out “Touch yourself and establish yourself as a sexual being”. He couldn’t help glaring at the glossy page and cursing it for the awful experience he had last night.

 

With a huff, he laid back on his bed and held the magazine up over his head.

 

The next steps were “dressing sexy” and “Talking sexy, not dirty.” He guessed he could do that at the party (if Lance ever wanted to see him again), but how the hell was he supposed to find anything approaching sexy in his closet.

 

He turned his head to the side, and glared at his open closet doors. The clothes inside were various shades of black, with the occasional colour as an accent. But, like he had said before, nothing sexy.

 

He sighed and looked back up at the magazine, not for the first time, wondering if he was in way over his head. God, it didn’t help that Lance was miles out of his league, he had just hoped that maybe their friendship made him a viable contender for his heart.

But now, after attempting these ‘love steps’ and stumbling his way through trying to flirt with Lance, he was quickly realising just how pathetic he actually was.

Suddenly, there was a small knock on the door and before he could shove the magazine under his pillow, the door swung open. Allura spoke as she walked into his room.

“Keith, I just wanted to let you know that…” her voice trailed off as she spotted the magazine in his hands. He felt his face, instantly turned red and desperately tried to divert her attention.

“Allura,” he winced a little at the way his voice cracked, “what are you doing here?”

She shrugged off his question, her eyes not straying from the magazine still guiltily stuck in his hands. “I came over to help Pidge with a project, but the real question is what are _you_ doing?”

He fumbled with the magazine, and looked everywhere but her. “I, umm, I, nothing.” He mumbled, not sounding convincing at all.

Slowly, Allura stalked forward like a lioness with prey in her sights.

Then, in a flurry of movements, Keith desperately tried to shove the magazine under his mattress at the same time as Allura was trying to rip it from his hands. There was a scuffle as Allura wrestled him for the paper and then, suddenly, she was holding it up in triumph.

“I got it!” She sang, her musical voice ringing through the room.

Keith whined and weakly tried to get it back. He knew exactly how hopeless his situation was though. Once Allura was determined to do something, there wasn’t anything in the world that was going to stop her.

“Allura, please,” he begged, but the girl just shoved his reaching hands away, smiling like a cat who had caught the canary. She sat herself on his bed, and began rapidly flipping through the pages to get to the one that he bookmarked.

“Now, let’s see what we got here.” She hummed as she began to skim the page with the steps on it. Keith watched helplessly beside her as she read. Her face started out curious, but then quickly melted into something gentler. Her eyes turned soft and she turned to look at him.

“What’s this, Keith?” she asked tenderly, a perfectly manicured hand pointing to the steps that he had already crossed out.

He tried to avoid her eyes and glared down at the bedsheets under him. He could feel her eyes on his skin though and he risked a glance up.

The minute their eyes met, he felt something inside him just break and all the sudden, he was telling her the entire story.

He told her about asking Lance out the first time and how he was friend zoned. He told her about the girl that gave her the magazine and how he was trying to complete all the steps. He told her about his disastrous attempts and how he thought he was in way over his head and that Lance was never going to love a loser like him.

And once he started talking, he found that he couldn’t stop and just as he was beginning to tell Allura about how much of a fuck-up he was, he felt a hand settle on his elbow, effectively silencing him.

“Oh Keith,” she whispered, looking at him in the eyes, “You haven’t messed up too terribly. I think what you are doing is rather sweet.”

“But what if all this is useless. What if I’m just not someone who can be loved?”

Allura huffed and squeezed his arm. “Do not be dramatic. You deserve love just like everyone else. Yes, your attempts might be a bit…” she paused to look for the right word, “heavy-handed, but your heart is in the right place and I think that’s what’s going to win Lance over.”

Keith was silent as he thought Allura’s words over. Perhaps thinking that he was the world’s biggest fuck-up wasn’t exactly right. Perhaps all of this ‘love advice’ was making him a bit dramatic.

“Keith, do not keep beating yourself up over this. You just need a little help.” Allura said, nudging him in the shoulder.

He rose his eyebrows as he looked at her curiously, “but the love experts are supposed to be helping me.” He said, while flicking his eyes to the magazine.

She huffed and smacked him lightly with the magazine. “No, you doofus, I mean help from me. I see what you are trying to do, and I am going to help you. Now, tell me what are you planning next.” She gave him the magazine and he fumbled with the pages, suddenly overcome with nerves.

“Umm, I,” he stuttered, “I think I want to do these two” he pointed to 5. _dressing sexy_ and 4. _talking sexy_ “because I’m supposed to go with Lance to a party tonight, but I’m not even sure if he’s going to want to see me after the disaster last night.”

“last night…” Allura trailed off as she tried to figure out what Keith was talking about and then her face lit up in realisation. “That’s what you were trying to do last night. You were trying to do one of the steps!”

Keith hung his head as he nodded and tried to ignore Allura’s ringing laughter.

“Well, Keith,” she said when she finally stopped, “I’m going to make sure that you are more successful this time around, but you know what that means. We’re going to have to go shopping.”

 

Keith wasn’t exactly sure how, but within an hour of declaring that they were going shopping, Allura had gotten him dressed, swept him out of the apartment, and whisked him to the mall. He didn’t even have time to protest everything happened so quickly.

Allura had plopped him in front of a store and told him to go and try on something that he thought made himself ‘look handsome’. She said that she had to go and find a gift for a friend and that she would be back in an hour.

Keith gulped as he wandered through the store, feeling way out of his depth. He went back towards the lingerie section, just because he didn’t know where else to go and soon found himself in a section full of lace and frilly tops that were definitely meant for women.

Oh god, how the hell was he supposed to know what to do here? Wasn’t Allura supposed to be helping him?

After trying to navigate the lingerie section on his own, he finally had enough and wandered over to a store assistant.

“Hello,” she chirped when she saw him approach.

“Uh, hi,” he replied, “could you tell me where the men’s lingerie section is?” He scuffed his shoe against the floor and tried to look as confident as possible.

She only looked at him blankly and raised an eyebrow. “The men’s lingerie?”

He wasn’t why she looked so confused about that question. “Yeah, the clothes that make men look sexy.”

She narrowed her eyes, and he met her gaze. “You’re serious?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I really need something sexy to wear.”

“Umm, okay” she said as she started to lead him somewhere else. She took him to a part of the store in the back and hesitantly told him that that’s where he was going to find all their sexy menswear’s before leaving.

Keith gulped as he stared at a pair of bright orange underpants that had “business in the front” printed on the crotch and “party in the back” printed on the ass.

Is this sexy?

It seemed like something that would be considered sexy, so he shoved a pair into his shopping basket. He looked around at the rest of the small section and tried not to blush when he saw some of the more suggestive clothing. He knew that those would be considered sexy, but he wasn’t sure if he was quite ready to go that far yet.

Slowly, he started grabbing random things to start making his sexy outfit. He checked sizes, but didn’t dare try anything on because he thought if he did he might chicken out of this whole thing all together. He went around the rest of the section putting stuff in his basket and trying to desperately make sure that everything he was buying would be considered sexy.

Maybe if they were in this section they were automatically sexy?

He looked back to a fluorescent green t-shirt with a huge pink dick in a cowboy hat. Underneath it was a caption that read “save a horse, ride me.”

He had not grabbed that shirt, and he was _really_ doubting its sexiness. He couldn’t ever imagine being attracted to someone wearing that, so he hoped that Lance would be the same way.

After deciding that he had an entire outfit, he made his way over to the check out and paid for his new clothes. The cashier kept giving him weird looks, but Keith didn’t dare meet their eyes and kept his eyes glued to the rising amount he had to pay. He huffed at the price and wondered how the hell buying less fabric cost him more than his usual clothes.

Once his purchases were bagged, he practically ran out of the store and found Allura quickly.

She looked up from her phone when she saw him approaching. “Hello Keith, did you find what you were looking for?” she said with a sweet smile, her eyes darting between him and the bag.

He clutched it to his chest, suddenly shy about what he purchased.

“I think so.” He mumbled.

Her face lit up. “Wonderful! Could you show me a couple things?”

He shook his head. “I want to save them for Lance.” He admitted, feeling another blush rise on his cheeks. Allura, though, melted.

“You really are smitten,” she said with soft eyes. She stood up and they began to make their way to the exit. “I’m sure that Lance will love them when he sees you at the party tonight.”

Keith looked ahead of them towards the rapidly setting sun. He hadn’t even realised how much time they spent in the mall, and it was only a couple hours until he promised to meet Lance. He gulped and glanced down at the bag. The bright orange underpants were peeking up at him, still as bright as a traffic cone.

God, he hoped this worked.

 

That night, he took longer than ever to get ready. Allura had left a while ago and Pidge was playing some kind of game about the “Hearts of a Kingdom”, which left him to his own devices on choosing an outfit.

And if there was one thing that he was worse than asking out cute boys, it was trying to put together an outfit. He had already tried on multiple combinations of the clothing, and finally settled on something that he thought might work.

He stood looking in the mirror and trying to focus on how cold his midrift was. He was wearing a mesh see-through crop top with tight denim short shorts over fishnet tights and it was definitely less than half the amount of clothes that he was actually comfortable with wearing.

God, he could even see his nipples through this “shirt”. How the hell did he think this was a good idea. He crossed his arms over his chest and glanced at the clock to see if there was an time to change.

There wasn’t.

 _Oh shit, I’m already late._ He thought to himself while shoving his wallet into his pocket. The butt of the short was barely enough to cover his ass and he could feel it rising up as he walked.

This was officially a very, very terrible idea.

But he had no choice at this point.

He went outside and worryied his lip as he pulled his thin jacket tighter around his barely-there see-through shirt. He could feel the goosebumps rising on his skin.

With a curse at the cold, he got on his jacket and blushed as he felt the shorts pull up even further. God, he hoped there were not going to be any children in the car behind him.

He drove to the house where the party was at and he saw that it was already in full swing. Flashing colourful lights were sparkling through the windows and he heard the heavy bass of the dance music thumping in the night.

He reached down to text Lance that he was here and almost immediately got a reply back saying that the boy was waiting for him inside. He parked his motorcycle and tried to ignore the stares as he walked closer to the house.

Boys and girls were looking at him with hungry eyes and he crossed his arms over his chest again. Unfortunately, the movement only made crop top rise higher on his chest. Lance better enjoy this outfit because he certainly wasn’t getting any enjoyment out of it.

With tentative steps, he went through the door and watched as the crowd parted before him. They were all staring and he desperately wanted to find Lance just so that they stopped looking at him like that.

Then, suddenly there was a flash of blue and he saw Lance’s mop of familiar hair. Hope rose in his chest and he took a large breath. He steeled himself, telling himself that it was way too late to back out of this now.

Anyways if everyone else was staring at him, Lance was bound to stare at Keith too.

“Lance,” he shouted, his voice barely carrying over the loud party music. He saw Lance swivel his head, trying to track to the head. “Lance, I’m over here!”

Lance turned around fully, his eyes squinting through the crowds. Lights flashed around him, lighting up his face in a kaleidoscope of colours. His eyes jumped across stranger’s faces, obviously looking for him.

Within a couple moments, his eyes landed on him, before almost immediately hopping to the next person. Then Keith watched, Lance’s eyes widen in surprise as he took a doubletake.

“Keith?” He questioned, his voice sounding a little strangled though Keith didn’t know why. He fought his way through the crowd towards Lance and he felt the boy’s eyes tracking him from across the room. When he reached the boy, he gave a huge sigh of relief and ran a hand through his hair.

“Thank god,” he hissed, glaring at the press of people around them. “I was worried I was never going to find you.” He looked up at Lance and gave him a little good-natured smirk. “Can you believe these people? They’ve been staring at me all night.”

Then, he noticed that Lance had been quiet for a rather long time. He looked up and saw that Lance’s face was flushed almost like he was running a fever.

He furrowed his eyebrows and stepped closer to Lance so he could see him better in the dim light. “Hey, are you okay? You don’t look too good.”

Lance shook his head and instead of answering stuttered out “wh, wh, what are you wearing?”

Keith looked down at himself. He had almost forgotten he was wearing the sexy outfit because he was so happy to see Lance. God, this wasn’t going the way he wanted it to. Lance just looked sick and the room was so dark he probably didn’t see the sexy outfit at all.

“I’m trying something different,” he shouted, fighting to be heard over the intense music. Lance was still looking at him in disbelief, so Keith decided to take a chance. “Do you like it?”

Lance’s cheeks reddened even more and Keith worried that the boy was about to pass out. He took a nervous sip from the red solo cup he was holding and looked out into the crowd away from Keith. “Yeah,” he mumbled, his voice squeakier than it usually was, “you look good. Really good.”

Something warm lit up in Keith’s chest. Lance thought that he looked nice? Was this actually working?

Lance was biting his lip and simultaneously trying to look away from Keith and unable to keep his eyes off of him. He was fidgeting and worrying his hands in nervous movement. He was obviously upset by something, but Keith couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.

But then everything clicked in his head and his eyes widened.

Oh.

OH.

Lance’s flushed face. His darting eyes. The way that the other boy kept getting closer to him and biting his lip.

Lance didn’t just think that he looked good. Lance thought that he looked _hot._

Confidence shot through him and raced through his veins. The warm feeling in his chest threatened to bubble over and he didn’t even try to hide the smile from his face.

Finally.

Finally, his plan was working in the way he wanted it to.

Then, with a surge of bravery, he tried to complete the next step in his plan. He jerked forward, pretending that someone had bumped his from behind, and pressed his chest against Lance’s. He felt Lance gasp, and the fluttering of heartbeats between their skin.

He savoured the feeling and the wonderful sight of Lance’s face going absolutely red.

He leaned forward, letting their breaths mingle together. Keith didn’t meet Lance’s eyes and just watched the boy’s nervous gulps. “I’m glad you like the new clothes.” He said in his most sultry voice. Then, he lifted his eyes and got even closer, whispering into Lance’s ear. “I bought these clothes for you. They were on sale. In the store, they were buy one get one free, but in my bedroom they’re 100% off.”

He felt Lance shiver, his body trembling and goosebumps rising on his skin. Keith bit his lip, and tried to hide a smirk, hoping that his expression was sexy. He swallowed back a giggle when he saw flustered the little smirk made Lance.

This was definitely working.

And judging by the way that Lance was looking at him, maybe he had a chance.

All around them, the party was steadily growing wilder. A song that Keith recognised came on and he began pulling Lance on to the dancefloor. It was very uncharacteristic for him to want to dance, but the music was good, he looked hot and he was drunk on Lance’s blush.

“I want to dance,” he said while taking the other boy to the dancefloor. The music was pumping and the light were flashing in rainbow colours. Sweaty bodies were swaying hypnotically to the rhythm and Keith was ready to become one of them.

“You want to dance?” Lance asked incredulously because Keith usually hated dancing. Keith only nodded his head and found a spot for them on the dancefloor.

They started small, just kinda bouncing together, but then Keith got bolder. He started rotating his hips in the way that the one dance class he had ever taken had taught him. He had been terrible at that class, but Allura had told him that this was the one move he had actually gotten right. Luckily, he was also pretty sure that it looked sexy.

He turned around and letting Lance get a good look at his ass in the booty shorts while he rotated his hips slowly. He rose his arms and felt the crop top rise up his torso, but instead of feeling trapped in the top, he felt empowered by it. He half-expected that he looked like a flailing fish rather than a sexy boy, but he found that he simply didn’t care. Lance _had_ to think that this looked sexy. When the song slowed to an end, he risked a glance over his shoulder and saw that Lance was gaping at him.

Suddenly, he was concerned that maybe he had taken it too far.

“Lance,” he asked, worrying his lip. He looked into the other’s eyes and was amazed by how blue they were in the flashing party lights.

Maybe, this was the time for another sexy pick up line?

“I might not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you” he said hesitantly, not exactly sure what that pick-up line meant, but he continued, “and if I was a cat, I’d spend all nine lives when you.” He tried to sound confident, but knew he sounded more like he was asking a question.

Lance was looking at him with an unreadable expression, but then that slowly melted into a soft smile.

“What’s gotten into you?” he asked breathlessly, and Keith wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he wasn’t so close.

He didn’t really know why, but the comment made him blush more than anything Lance had said that night. “I’m just trying something new,” he replied, trying to keep a stutter out of his voice. It wasn’t really successful but just made Lance smile more. The other boy moved closer, and gently lifted a hand to run along Keith’s jaw.

It was the most tender thing Lance had ever done to him, and Keith felt like his heart was about two seconds from exploding. Everything in him was melting. He was incredibly nervous, but also cautiously excited about what all of this meant.

Lance was leaning in closer and Keith couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He looked absolutely ethereal in the rainbow lights, like some kind of mythical siren that Keith was just lucky to lay eyes on. Everything about him was perfect and his presence was enough to make him feel like his heart was going to burst.

Lance was coming closer and Keith was sure that they were going to kiss until Lance turned his head slightly, going towards Keith’s ear instead of his lips.

“I’ve never seen you so confident.” He whispered and the sentence made Keith’s eyes widen. And then Lance gave a soft, gentle laugh that rang like bells “You never stop surprising me, Keith Kogane.”

And then just as quickly as he came, Lance was stepping away from him. Keith was frozen, not sure what had just happened, but trying not to pass out from how fast his heart was beating. The party was still pulsing around him, but he wasn’t seeing anyone but Lance. For that moment, Lance was his entire world.

Lance looked around, and Keith could tell that he was about to leave. He wanted to reach and grab the boy, just to keep him here. “I have to go say hi to some other people, but I really enjoyed hanging out with you. I’ll see you tomorrow right?” he said, not looking at him and Keith could only nod.

Lance began to walk away and right before he was out of sight, he looked back and gave Keith a smile that both filled and broke his heart.

He didn’t know why Lance was walking away. Didn’t Lance know that he was everything to Keith? Didn’t he know that he was Keith’s entire world?

He gulped, and suddenly felt incredibly small on the dance floor. Where did Lance go? Why did he leave so suddenly, even after Keith had thought everything was going so well? Didn’t he think that he was sexy? Keith was so sure that Lance had thought he was sexy that night.

He crossed his arms over his chest, and felt incredibly small in the middle of the dance floor all alone. He could feel other’s eyes on him, but he didn’t want them to see him. He just wanted to leave.

So, he took a deep breath and began to leave, unsure of whether the night was a success or not.


	5. Cut him off (of caffeine and the loop)

So the next day, Keith still wasn’t actually sure what had happened that night. For all of his getting ready and putting together the sexiest outfit ever, all he had gotten was Lance whispering in his ear and an almost-kiss that just pissed him off.

He was so sure that Lance had thought he was hot, so why didn’t he just admit to Keith that he had a crush already?

Why wasn’t Lance giving him more signs that he was falling in love? Maybe the steps weren’t working as well as Keith thought they were.

Keith was glaring at the magazine, his eyes practically burning holes into the smiling lady that was gracing the front cover. She probably had no trouble implementing the steps? She probably had all the guys (or girls) she wanted. So why couldn’t Keith just get this one boy to fall in love with him.

He angrily flipped to where the steps were and had an evil smile when he saw what the next two steps were: _6\. Cut him in line at Starbucks like an asshole, then pay for his drink like an angel_ and _7\. Keep him out of the loop- he’ll miss you more!_

Maybe it was a little mean of him, but he was mad at Lance for not kissing him last night despite their very obvious attraction to each other. Why wouldn’t the boy just ask him out and become his boyfriend?

And then a small voice in the back of his head whispered _“maybe because you’re not nearly good enough for him”_ and the indignant confidence within him deflated. Maybe he was reading into this too much? Maybe he hadn’t been as sexy as he thought he was last night?

He had to trust the steps though. The steps had gotten him this far, and maybe a little pressure was exactly what he needed at this point in the wooing.

Lance, Hunk, Pidge and him were all supposed to meet that day in order to review for their shared class. They usually met at a nearby café and went over homework while also goofing off a fair bit. It wasn’t usual for one of them to skip so he thought this was a perfect opportunity to keep Lance out of the loop.

He looked down and felt his stomach twist, but he still pulled out his phone. He opened up Lance’s text messages and slowly began typing into a message to complete step 7.

**To: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(1:45pm)**

**Hey Lance, I know we were supposed to meet today, but everyone is sick so we’re going to have to cancel.**

Keith nervously worried his lip and prayed that that excuse was enough to convince Lance not to come. He hoped it didn’t sound too strange and that Lance wouldn’t ask too many questions. He nearly screamed when he saw the three blinking dots that meant the other was typing popped on to his screen.

**From: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(1:48pm)**

**wait… everyones sick?? :S**

He felt the panic rising in his throat and fought to keep it down. Shit, he overshot. He shouldn’t have said that _everyone_ is sick. He should have made a more believeable excuse… like maybe the café burned down?

Yes, that was far more believable!

**To: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(1:53pm)**

**Yes. Everyone’s sick.**

And then in a panic, he also added:

**(1:54pm)**

**And the café burned down.**

He sent off the message and almost immediately he realised exactly how stupid he had been. Of course the café didn’t burn down, why would Lance ever believe that the café burned down. He groaned loudly and buried his head in his arms, hoping that he would just spontaneously combust.

He knew Lance was answering his message right now and probably wondering how he was friends with someone as stupid as Keith.

**From: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(2:01 pm)**

**… the café burned down…?**

**To: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(2:02pm)**

**Yes.**

**From: Lancey Lance XDDDD**

**(2:01 pm)**

**fine, weirdo**

**i’ll see you tomorrow though right?**

Keith breathed a sigh of relief and couldn’t believe that Lance accepted his excuses. This was probably meant to be and maybe fate was on his side?

With a newfound confident, Keith began packing up to meet Hunk and Pidge. He would have to tell them that Lance couldn’t make it that day, but he didn’t think that was going to raise any questions.

He was riding high and he drove his motorcycle to the café. Not for the first time since last night, he was thankful to be in regular clothes. He had really hated feeling the wind so far up his thighs. He had no idea how girls did it.

But now in full length jeans, he felt comfortable in his own skin and more like himself than he ever did in his “sexy clothes”.

He parked his motorcycle in front of the café and pulled off his helmet. His hair instantly flew everywhere and became a tangled mess on front of his eyes. He huffed and desperately tried to comb through his hair while walking up to the café.

He gave up as he walked through the front door and the little bell announced his entrance.

The place was bustling with students and many of them were bunched in groups and huddled over tables like monks. Some of them looked dead of their feet, the stress of mid-term tests already getting to them. Silently, Keith hoped that he didn’t look like that when he was completely stressed out.

His eyes scanned the café and he quickly saw the familiar profiles of Hunk and Pidge. The two engineers were both talking excitedly, and Pidge was laughing animatedly with huge hand motions.

Keith smiled as he saw them and quickly went to the table. They greeted them as he approached.

“Hey Keith! What’s up?” said Hunk warmly as Keith sat down.

“Nothing much, it was kinda a boring night.” He answered blandly, leaning back into his chair casually. He hoped that he looked normal.

Pidge raised an eyebrow curiously, “but didn’t you go to the party last night?”.

Keith nervously rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, but I didn’t stay long. It wasn’t my scene though,”

The girl seemed to accept the answer and Hunk just shrugged. “Lance said that he went that the party. He seemed really excited about it. I think he might have met someone.”

Pidge instantly looked more interested and leaned in. “You mean like met _met_ someone.” Obviously implying whether he met _met_ this somebody with his clothes off.

Keith blushed and pretended not to look interested in the answer that Hunk was going to give.

The other boy just hummed, but then shook his head. “I don’t think so. Lance usually stays over when he, you know, does the horizontal tango with someone. But he came back to the apartment last night. Earlier than I was expecting actually…” Hunk paused in thought before continuing, “He did say that he met someone new though, someone confident who he never expected to be there.”

Keith felt something in him sink. Lance didn’t mention him to Hunk? They maybe this mysterious person wasn’t actually him? Maybe it was someone that Lance had met after he left Keith?

His disappointment quickly turned into anger as he thought about Lance meeting someone else. Frustration boiled in his stomach as he thought about someone else laughing at Lance’s jokes. Someone else feeling Lance’s affectionate touches. Someone else getting to go on dates with him.

Someone else getting everything that Keith ever wanted.

And he knew it was petty, but he couldn’t help himself. He had been crushing on Lance for so long for as long as he knew him and to think that someone else could win his heart in a single night.

That just wasn’t fucking fair.

“Whatever.” Keith huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. He was very aware of how childlike it looked, but couldn’t help it.

Pidge raised a curious eyebrow, immediately taking note of Keith’s behaviour. “And what’s got your panties in a bunch?” she asked with a devious smile. He looked away and hoped that he wasn’t that obvious.

“Nothing.” He grunted, “good for Lance.”

Pidge and Hunk glanced at each other, both of them obviously not believing Keith.

Hunk shrugged, though, brushing off Keith’s weird actions. “I guess, we’ll just have to ask him when he gets here.”

“Oh, he’s not coming.” Keith said bluntly, getting a little bit of satisfaction that his plan was working. “He texted me earlier and said that something came up, so he can’t make it.”

This apparently was too much for them and their curious looks were quickly sliding into suspicion. Suddenly, the air seemed hotter and stuffier and unpleasantly slid down Keith’s throat. He gulped and reached up to tug at his collar, trying to give himself more air.

Their eyes were still boring into him and it got to the point where he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood suddenly, his knee crashing into table as he went up. It wobbled and the salt shaker fell over.

“So, umm, we’re not waiting for Lance,” he stuttered, shakily reaching down to right the salt shaker. Both of the engineers were still staring and he felt a heated blush rising up the back of his neck. His eyes flickered towards the barista counter, and he realised it was his way out. “So, I’ll go get us some drinks.”

He turned quickly and before he could get very far, Pidge shouted at him. “You need our drink orders before you can order our drinks, dumbass,” There was an obvious smug humour in her voice and he saw her smirk as he sheepishly came back to the talk.

They both told them what they wanted and he tried to ignore Pidge’s humour and Hunk’s confusion. As quick as he could, he turned and went towards the register.

As he got away from them, he found that he could breathe a sigh of relief. That was close. Too close for his comfort and he knew that they were still suspicious.

But he couldn’t exactly tell them that he had lied to Lance in order to continue with his plan.

He highly doubted that they would understand the mechanics of what he was doing and he wasn’t going to risk his chance with Lance any time soon.

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair as he waited in line. This was so stressful, so much more stress than he thought it was going to be.

Wasn’t the plan supposed to make things easier? All it seemed to be doing was confusing both him and Lance.

“Keith?” said a familiar voice and all the thoughts in Keith’s head stopped. Ice ran through his veins and he felt a huge, heavy guilt settle in his stomach. He prayed desperately that he had been mistaken, but as he turned towards his name he saw it was true.

Lance was sitting at a small table, staring at him with an obviously confused expression.

“Keith?” he asked again, his eyebrows furrowing more and a little bit of hurt leaking into his voice, “I thought you said you weren’t going to be coming today? I thought you said you were sick?”

Keith was still frozen in the middle of that coffeeshop.

No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. Lance was not supposed to be here.

The other boy was still staring at him. Those huge blue eyes filling with more hurt by the minute. He obviously still wanted an answer from Keith, but Keith couldn’t find any words. He was panicking. His heart was racing, his breaths were coming quick and short and he felt like cornered animal.

This was wrong. This wasn’t as planned.

He needed to get out of here. He desperately eyed the door, but at this point Lance had gotten up and began to walk towards him, blocking him from the exit.

He eyed the door, trying to figure out if he could still make it. But as Lance got closer and the possibility of escape got further away, the panic inside him got more frantic. He couldn’t think straight at all and there was a loud ringing in his ear. He could see Lance talking to him and watched the words on his lips, but he couldn’t hear him over the pounding blood roaring in his own head.

He tensed the muscles in his legs and was just about to run out of the door, before Lance put a hand on his shoulder, grounding him there.

“Keith,” he said, his voice finally coming through, “I don’t understand. I thought you said that you weren’t coming today”. His blue eyes were full of concern and worry and Keith absolutely hated seeing that on his face.

“You weren’t supposed to be here…” he whispered. He thought he had said it quiet enough for Lance not to hear, but he apparently did, because his flinched back. He looked exactly like a kicked puppy and guilt filled every single inch of Keith.

Keith wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him so, so bad. He opened his mouth and was about to just spill it all right there, but then suddenly Hunk’s voice cut through the air.

“Lance! I thought you were sick.” Hunk said happily, completely oblivious to the obvious tensions between them. Lance startled, his eyes widening with surprise and then flooding with hurt again.

He looked between Hunk and Pidge and Keith, his mouth gaping in disbelief before rounding on Keith.

“I thought you said that you guys weren’t meeting today.” He stammered. He shuffling his feet and crossed his arms over his chest, making himself look even smaller. “Keith told me you were all sick.”

Hunk’s face scrunched in confusion and Pidge looked just as befuddled. “Why would he say that?”

Then, everyone was looking at Keith. All three pairs of eyes were staring at him and Keith felt like running once again. But he knew he couldn’t. He dug his grave and now he was going to have to lie in it. Or at least try to fix this situation somehow.

“I didn’t think that Lance was going to be here.” He muttered, and immediately realised that it was the wrong thing to say. Lance just looked even smaller and now Pidge was openly glaring at him.

And then, something in Lance’s face changed and all his emotions shut down at once. His expression hardened and Keith couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Fine. I get it. You don’t want me around.” He snapped, taking a step back. His hands were twisted into fists and his teeth were clenched.

He turned to walk away, and Keith couldn’t help jumping forward. “No! That’s not it.” He begged, his voice coming out small and broken.

Lance fixed him with a glare and didn’t open his mouth to speak.

“yeah guys,” Hunk stepped forward, putting himself physically between them. “Why don’t we just go sit down?” He tried to motion them towards the table, but Lance didn’t move an inch.

He was still glaring, even as he said. “Fine, but let me get your guy’s drinks first. I still need a couple minutes to calm down. You guys want the usual?”

And before getting their reply, he turned and began walking towards the counter. His shoulders were set in an angry line and Keith gulped.

He had never seen Lance this furious.

He had seen him annoyed, with a crinkle in his nose and an upturned lip. He had seen him indignant, with hands on hips and a glower. He had even seen him aghast with huge flailing  movement and his anger projected on his face.

But he had never seen him with this quiet and deadly fury and he had certainly never seen it directed towards him.

He wanted to call out Lance’s name, but the word died on his lips. Was this really what he wanted?

To be standing in the middle of a coffeeshop trying to decide whether he should even _say_ Lance’s name. To be so nervous that he could feel his heart pounding a tattoo in his chest and his mouth going incredibly dry. To be so anxious and confused that he doubted every single one of his actions and had to desperately cling to a checklist he found in a magazine.

Was this really what he wanted?

Keith looked at Lance and felt his heart ache as he saw that beautiful boy. Because Lance was beautiful. Everything about him drove Keith crazy, his smile, his barely there freckles, the curve of his back when he stood. But so much more than his looks was that he was everything that Keith wasn’t. He loved fiercely and confidently and he would never bumble around in love like Keith did.

And once again, Keith was hit with the feeling that he didn’t deserve Lance and there was nothing that he could do to change that.

Keith was about to give up. Ice shot down his veins when he finally admitted it to himself. Maybe this was impossible? Maybe he really couldn’t do this? Maybe he really was just a dumb, stupid boy who had been blinded by his own feelings?

After all, everyone had been telling he exactly how stupid he was for listening to the “love experts” in the first place.

Anger rose in him, and he almost stomped over to his backpack to rip the magazine into pieces. But right before he took the first step, a little voice in the back of his head stopped him. _But think about all the things that the magazine had gotten right._

Through the magazine’s help he had seduced Lance with seductive touches, he had definitely gotten him interested on the dancefloor last night and he had made Lance miss him (even if this was massively backfiring for him now)

To be honest, the magazine didn’t have the worse track record and it was certainly better than Keith’s which consisted of one failed asking-out in the middle of the library.

But still, having Lance’s hurt directed at him couldn’t possibly be his goal and he needed to fis that fast if he had any chance of saying their friendship and possible relationship.

He began moving forward, with a new confident and commitment to the plan, but then a small forceful hand jerked him back.

“and where do you think you’re going, dumbass.” Pidge hissed as she pulled him back. He stumbled over his own feet and nearly fell on his ass,

He fixed her with a glare and wasn’t surprised that she matched it with equal furiosity. “Let go, Pidge.” He growled, trying to tug his arm away. She didn’t even flinch and her fingers clenched tighter. As she glared at him, his confidence waned and turned into more of a childlike shame. “Please Pidge, I have to fix this.”

She rolled her eyes, and didn’t look like she believe him fully. “Yeah, just like how you ‘fixed’ the situation in math class. And at the movie night.” She hissed.

Keith shivered, dipped his head. Pidge was small and she may look unassuming, but she was also fiercely loyal to her friends. She was always willing to fight for the people she cared about and now she was protecting Lance against him. Keith never thought he could mess up this badly.

“I just don’t get it.” She snapped, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “It’s like you’ve gone crazy all the sudden. It’s like you’ve forgotten how to be a person.” She jabbed a figer into his chest, forcing him to meet eyes with her.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Keith Kogane.”

Fear and shame shot down his spine and it couldn’t find it in himself to answer. He silently pleaded that Pidge would understand, that he never _ever_  meant it to turn out like this.

There was a couple beats of silence before realisation dawned on her face. “I can’t believe this…”

She groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is for your stupid ‘steps to seduce a man’ thing, isn’ it?

Keith looked down, unable to meet her eyes any longer. “yes” he mumbled, feeling like a scolded puppy.

“Unbelievable.” She muttered, turning back to him. “I need to sit.”

Hunk, who had been silent for this entire exchange, glanced confusedly between the two. “So what’s this about seducing a man?” he asked and Keith’s face went completely read. Pidge was hunched in a seat at the table with her head in her arms.

At Hunk’s voice, she lifted her head, a deadpan expression on her face.

“Keithy boy,” she said dryly, “has been consulting a Cosmo magazine article in order to win Lance’s heart.”

Hunk’s jaw dropped and Keith wished that the Earth would just open up and swallow him whole.

Why was this becoming such a familiar feeling for him?

“You mean those terrible articles that are just meant to be read by teenage girls?” Hunk gasped and Keith flinched at the implication. Pidge was nodded from her seat and Hunk looked caught between looking horrified and looking amused.

Keith crossed his arms over his chest and squared his shoulders, weakly trying to defend himself. “They’re not terrible. They’re written by love experts,” he grumbled, and both the engineers gave him a deadpan look.

“Keith” Pidge said solemnly, “I know you are actually very smart, so you can’t possibly believe that there are some kind of mythical ‘love experts’” she put finger quotes around the words, “that are writing these.”

Now, Keith knew that he had a problem with stubbornness. He had known ever since he was a kid who constantly refused to leave the playground and even ate ice cream for a month despite being lactose intolerant. And everytime someone told him not to do something, a red uncontrollable indignation rose up and didn’t let him change his mind.

“There are love experts. There are proven steps to seduce a man. And I will use them to win Lance’s heart.” He declared, his voice raising with emotion.

Both Hunk and Pidge were staring with unreadable expressions and he felt his cheeks getting red. They just didn’t realise how accurate these steps actually were.

Hunk sighed and shook his head. He gave Keith a pitying look and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. “Keith, I know you’re going to do this whether we think it’s a good idea or not,”

Keith opened his mouth to argue, but was shut up by Hunk’s eyes, before he continued speaking “And no matter what you do, you still hurt Lance and you have to go make it up to him.”

Keith hung his head, guilt rising in him again. “I know.”

The other boy smiled and gently turn him so that he was facing the line that Lance was still waiting in. He was almost at the front and only had one person checking out in front of him.

“No time like the present,” Hunk said, pushing Keith forward, causing him to nearly stumblw over his own feet.

He shot a glare back, and the two engineers just waved hime forward. He started walking with a huff.

Lance was talking to the barista and was just about to pay for the coffees, before Keith shoved himself in front of him.

“Keith what the hell.“ Lance growled and right before he could say anything else, Keith cut him off.

“I’ll pay.”

“What?”

“For the coffees. Because I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this.”

Lance paused, looking Keith up and down dubiously. He knew he was being analysed, but for once he didn’t care. He just needed Lance to see that he was being honest.

“I just don’t get it.” Lance admitted, sounding more defeated than angry, “why would you do this? Was it something I said? Is that why you’ve been acting weird with me these last couple days?

Keith froze, realising what Lance meant. He thought that this was all his fault. That something that he did was the cause of all of this. He was taking the blame for all of Keith’s stupidity.

God, he needed to fix this. He just didn’t know _how_ to. Why was he the one put into these kinds of situatuions.

“Keith, I hate to break you out of… whatever you’re doing” Lance said awkwardly, and he realised that was he was panicking he had been staring. “but you’re holding up the line.”

Oh shit, he couldn’t get anything right today. Quickly, he whirled around and paid for the drinks as fast as he could as Lance silently watched him. He felt his hands shaking and like he was going to throw up as they walked over to the counter to wait for the drinks to be prepared.

“Soooo…” Lance began, nervously worrying the edge of his shirt. “Are you going to tell me or?”

“Let me take you out for dinner. Tonight. In a couple hours. I promise I’ll tell you everything.”

Lance narrowed his eyes, and for a second he thought that he wasn’t going to accept. The butterflies in his stomach had turned into freaking elephants and were stomping on his insides. He held his breath and nearly passed out when Lance began speaking.

“Okay. Fine. But you’re taking me somewhere fancy. I want to go to the new French place on 3rd.”

Keith was nodding before the other boy even finished talking. “Yes, of course anything you want.”

“Then, it’s a date,” Lance affirmed and the word made Keith’s heart race in his chest. “I’ll see you later.” The boy grabbed his drink and then left without another word.

Keith stood in the middle of the café, wondering about what exactly he had done.


	6. Reaching out (into his pocket, and for a kiss)

A couple hours later, Keith was standing outside of the restaurant wondering exactly how he got there. Had the steps worked? Was Lance his boyfriend? Was this a _date_ date?

He gluped and shifted feeling the crinkle of the magazine tucked into his waistband. Despite everyone’s reactions: Hunk and Pidge’s disbelief, Allura’s teasing and Shiros constant calls to ask about his mental health, Keith couldn’t deny that the steps kinda… worked?

Without them, he might still be at that library. Sitting across the table from the one true love of his life and desperately trying to ask said boy out.

And then finally when he did manage to ask the boy out, he managed to get himself right in the middle of the friend zone.

God no. Actually it had been worse, he had been in the _best_ friend zone, so deep that he hadn’t seen a way out. Then the magazine was there, bright, shiny and glossy. Then, just through a couple of tips on the page, it was ready to pull him out.

So while he was getting ready for this date (which might not not even be a date. He still wasn’t quite so clear about that), he couldn’t help but grab the magazine as he was walking out the door. He wasn’t so sure if it was because he actually thought he needed to look at the tips, or whether he thought it was some kind of lucky charm.

He nervously shifted his feet and felt sweat trickle down his spine. The night swirled around him, looking like something out of a romantic painting. The stars flickered overhead and moonlight glinted on the ground like shattered glass. It was beautiful and Keith was way too anxious to appreciate it.

God, why was Lance late?

Had he gotten the day wrong? Was this is wrong restaurant? Was Lance just messing with him and had actually been planning to abandon him this entire time? He would deserve that after how much of an ass he had been.

 _Oh no,_ Keith thought to himself and he felt all the blood drain from his face. _Maybe Lance had died getting hit by a car while trying to save a kitten from incoming traffic._

Panic rose in his chest and he looked arounds the parking lot again, but only saw strangers. He didn’t know what to do, and before he could think twice, he took the magazine out of his waistband and nervously skimmed over the seduction tips. At this point in his “wooing”, he had used most of them and the only ones left were: _8\. Reach into his pocket for his keys (he’ll think you’re reaching for something else), 9. Spritz perfume into your hair- he’ll have to lean in to smell it_ a _nd 10. When you’re parting, smile coyly back._

He didn’t have any perfume, so he guessed that nine was out, but he thought he could definitely manage numbers eight and ten sometime during this dinner. He just hoped that they would be enough to tip him out of the best friend zone and into the romantic partner zone.

 

“Keith! Hey!” Lance’s voice came from his left and he whirled around to see the boy. He quickly shoved the magazine back behind his shirt, out of Lance’s sight.

When he saw the boy, his breath caught it his chest and a bright warm part of him kindled with affection.

Lance looked amazing. Like a star brought down from the sky. Like a wish in a summer’s night’s dream. Like every single bubbly, happy thing put into one person.

Just seeing Lance always made Keith melt and wish that he could write love poetry in his honour.

He had never thought that he would get to this point in his like, but here he was wishing that he could sing a love ballad to a boy getting out of an Uber.

“You okay, dude?” Lance asked, peering at him curiously and getting close to his face. His cheeks instantly went hot and he had to look away. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“No, I… um.. I’m okay. I promise.”

Lance blinked, his perfect blue eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Damn, you’re still acting weird. Really, you have to tell me what’s up.”

He gulped, feeling the edge of the magazine rubbing against his skin. “I will, but let’s just.. um.. go a sit down for now.”  Before Lance got a chance to response, he turned and began walking towards the hostess desk. He didn’t even look back to check that the boy was following him, he just trusted that Lance would.

He awkwardly asked for their table and tried not to shrink under Lance’s inquisitive gaze. They sat down and listened to the waitress give the a review of the menu items before promising to come back with drinks.

“So…” Lance began, one of his fingers running over the shiny utensils. “Should we do some small talk or should we cut to the chase when I’ll inevitably ask you to explain your strange behaviour over the last few days?”

Keith’s mind went blank and suddenly he felt like everyone in that restaurant was staring at him. Then, in a rush, he blurted out, “small talk.”

The other boy raised one of his perfectly manicured eyebrows and gave him a deadpan look. Underneath it though, a simmering amusement showed through. “Keith buddy, I’ve known you for almost three years now. I definitely know that small talk is the last thing to you’d want to do, unless…” he lost his amusement.

“Unless what you have to tell me is really that bad?” His eyebrows scrunched in concern and Keith felt guilty about everything. Guilty about concerning Lance, but even more guilty for lying to him and confusing him and leading him on this love goosechase.

But he was so close. He only had two more steps to complete and use to win Lance’s heart. He could do this. He knew he could.

“No Lance, it isn’t bad. I promise. Actually I think you’ll probably like it once I tell you.”

“Really?” he said quietly, his voice small but open. “I just don’t know what’s going on. You’ve been acting like a crazy person for days and I’m over here trying to convince myself that I’ve done nothing wrong.”

Keith jolted, and met Lance’s eyes. “Of course you didn’t do anything wrong. It was me. I was wrong and stupid and reckless.” He slumped, feeling his legs hit against the table. The constant murmur from the resutrant filled his ears as he gathered his thoughts. “I just didn’t think I had another choice.”

This must have hurt Lance, because suddenly the boy crumpled and his shoulders grew tight. “So this is because of something I did?”

Oh no, he couldn’t dare let Lance think that. Why was he getting this confession so wrong? Keith shook his head and his fist tightened on the tablecloth he had in his hand.

“Lance, please believe me. You didn’t do anything wrong. This is all my fault. Yes, it has to do with you, but not in the way that you think.”

The boy opened his mouth, presumably to ask another question, but Keith barrelled on. “It’s because you’re an amazing person Lance.”

There was silence and blood roared in Keith’s ears. Lance looked shocked and Keith deseperately want to shut up, but he mouth didn’t let him. Like a dam had burst, his mouth kept going and all the compliments he had inside came bursting out.

“You’re just so good and sometimes I can’t believe it. You walk into a room and it’s like the whole thing lights up. You can make people comfortable with a smile. You can get anyone to like you. I don’t know how you do it, but you make everything you touch better and…” He trailed off, staring down at the table unwilling to meet the other’s eyes.

“You’re so wonderful and you could be hanging out with anyone.” He scoffed and shook his head, “and yet you chose to hang out with a loser like me. I still don’t know why either.” His heart was hammering in his chest and for a second he thought that he might pass out.

Lance had been quiet through his little speech and, finally, Keith risked a glance up.

The boy was absolutely still and had an unreadable expression. Silence fell between them because Lance didn’t say anything and Keith didn’t know what to say. At that moment, the waitress came over to take their food orders.

There was an uncomfortable air as they placed their order, but the girl was unphased and left just as soon as she came. Onec she was gone, Lance levelled Keith with a look.

He froze, suddenly scared and feeling like a mouse caught under the gaze of a cat. A small part of him begged him to just get up and leave the restaurant. He knew he couldn’t, not after everything that’s he’s done to Lance. The boy he needed to give this boy an answer, but matter how much he didn’t want.

“You’re stalling.” Lance said frustration leaking into his voice, “and I don’t know why. First, you dance up on me at a party, then you avoid me and now you’re telling me how great I am? I just don’t get it.” He ran a hand through his hair and his blue eyes dropped to the table.

“And you also tell me that ‘it’s not me, it’s you’ I just don’t know what to think anymore, Keith. Do you not want to be my friend?”

Oh shit. His frantic mind skidded to a halt and guilt sunk down in his stomach like a block of ice. That definitely wasn’t what he wanted Lance to think. Actually it was the exact opposite of what he wanted Lance to think.

Internally, he was panicking and trying desperately not to let it show. Lance’s eyes were searching his face and he didn’t know what to do. He shifted and heard the paper magazine in his waistband crinkle.

That’s it, he realised. He had the steps in his pants!

Now was the time to use it more than ever. Just look at how terrible he had messed up by himself.

God, what were the two steps left?

He wracked his brain, nervously picking at his fingernail bed. He couldn’t remember and the anxiety in his head really wasn’t helping.

“Keith?” Lance asked, but Keith could hardly hear him over his own thoughts.

And then suddenly, it hit him.

  1. _Reach into his pocket for his keys (he’ll think you’re reaching for something else)_



Before he could stop himself or talk himself out of this, he stood up, walked around the table to slide into the booth next to Lance and promptly shoved his hand in his pocket.

Lance yelped, his voice going higher than Keith had ever heard. Patrons around them turned to stare and both of their faces went absolutely red. He couldn’t believe he was doing this and judging by the expression on Lance’s face, he didn’t believe it either.

Then, in a rush of motion, Lance leaned forward and pushed Keith out of the booth. He grunted when he fell against the floor, and felt a dull ache spread across his lower back. He didn’t care about that though, he cared about Lance who was standing, grimacing at him like an avenging angel.

“What the hell are you doing!” He hissed, not even caring that the other people in the restaurant were looking. His voice was low and dangerous and it sent a shiver through him. “I can’t believe you. You just keep doing this crazy, random stuff and I don’t get it, Keith Kogane. You have to explain yourself before you put your hand down my fucking pants.”

“I wasn’t…I wasn’t trying to put my hand…” He stuttered, suddenly realising what his little stunt looked like. He couldn’t believe he had done that. Lance had thought he was trying to cop a feel and now he was for sure going to hate him.

He flushed red, feeling everyone staring at him and the anger radiating out of Lance.

That small part of him that had told him to run earlier was now screaming at him to make a getway.

And then, for once, he decided to listen to that small part.

He turned tail and practically sprinted to the bathroom.

Keith rushed into the room, thanking anyone up above that it was blessedly empty.

“Shit, shit, shit, SHIT!” He cursed to himself while running a hand through his hair. How the hell had he messed this up so bad and what the hell was he going to tell Lance now? He couldn’t do this. He didn’t know why he had ever conned himself into thinking that he could do this.

He leaned against the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. His reflection didn’t look any better than he felt. He was tired, overwhelmed and desperately wishing that he had never even asked Lance out in the first place.

With a groan, he pulled the magazine out of his waist and flipped through the pages. He didn’t know what he was looking for.

A savior? Another tip that he had missed? Maybe an article titled “How to Fix your Life When You’ve Fucked it up So Bad that Now It’s a Burning Pile of Shit!”

“Keith?”

He whirled around and saw Lance looking at him from the other end of the bathroom.

“Lance,” he gasped, realising that the magazine was in full view and Lance had seen him looking through its pages. He shoved it behind his back and tried to look casual as he hid it.

That, of course, didn’t fool the other boy and he immediately tried to look behind Keith.

“What’s going on? What’s that?”

“It’s nothing.” Keith murmured, “It’s just something I found.”

Lance grimaced, his face going tight and an angry wrinkle forming between his eyebrows. “I am so done with the ‘nothings’ and the ‘don’t worry about it Lance’ and all this confusing shit you’re pulling. Show me the magazine and explain yourself Keith.”

Feeling like a dog that had peed on the floor, Keith guiltily gave Lance the magazine and took a breath to start explaining himself.

“I… I like you.” He admitted slowly, “I mean I like _like_ you and I want you to be my boyfriend, but I didn’t know how to ask you. I asked you in the library and you said we were friends and I didn’t know what to do.”

His throat felt like cotton. His heart hammered in his chest like a trapped rabbit. His eyes stung and he was holding back tears.

He risked a look to Lance, but flicked his eyes back down to the ground just as fast. The other boy was frozen and simply watching him.

“So a girl gave me that magazine and there’s some tips from love experts and I’ve been using them to win your heart because everytime I try to ask you on my own I fuck up things so terrible that I end up pushing you away more… I know I don’t deserve you. I get it now, but I thought that maybe with those tips… at least, I had a chance.”

There was a silence between them and Keith forced himself to meet Lance’s gaze. The other boy was uncharacteristically stoic and gently gestured him to come near.

“Could you show me these tips?” he said mildly and Keith crept forward like a dog with his tail between his legs. He took the magazine and flipped to the page with the tips.

He cleared his voice before talking. “These are them,” he muttered, “I’ve done almost all of them.”

Lance scanned down the list. “So this was why you were staring at me that one day and why you dressed sexy for the party and the crotch patting on movie night?”

“yes,” he admitted, hanging his head. He was staring at his shows like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

And then, suddenly and beautifully, Lance started laughing.

The sound bubbled out of him like a fountain and it rippled around the small bathroom. It rang in his ears and amazingly Keith felt his heart begin to calm in his chest. Lance smiled at smile, warm bright and brimming with affection.

“So what you’re telling me is that you’ve been using these ‘steps to seduce’ a man in order to woo me?”

Keith felt his cheeks become pink. “Yep.”

Lance started laughing again and his eyes crinkled with amusement. “Keith, that is the dumbest thing that I’ve ever heard.” He said, while giving the magazine back to him.

All his hope shattered and suddenly it was just like that first day in the library all over again.

“But,” Lance continued, breaking through Keith’s thoughts. “It’s also the sweetest, dorkiest and most adorable thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

Keith lifted his head and saw Lance smiling warmly at him. The other boy got closer. Their breaths became mingled and the thoughts in Keith’s head just stopped. Suddenly, his world was entirely made up of Lance.

“Why didn’t you just ask me to be your boyfriend?” Lance lifted his hands and gently put them on Keith’s cheeks. His fingers rubbed along his jaw and Keith couldn’t help but shiver.

“I tried to, but you said I was only your best friend.”

Lance hummed, his eyelids flickered and his gaze drifted to Keith’s lips. “I must have misunderstood you. Because if I had understood you…” Lance got closer and Keith felt his eyes close. “This is the answer I would have given.”

Then, Lance was kissing him. His lips were soft under Keith’s and Keith felt his entire world build up and come crashing down all at once. All of his inhibition was melting away, and the moment felt better than anything he could have imagined. Lance was his entire world and he felt stupid for ever waiting to kiss this boy.

Lance’s hands went into his hair, fingers tangling with the strands. Keith desperately felt the urge to reach out and touch, but he still had this stupid magazine in his hand.

With a growl, he broke the kiss.

“What are you…” Lance began asking, but was cut off by Keith flinging the magazine across the bathroom. Its pages fluttered and it landed messily. Keith didn’t even find it in himself to care anymore.

He had his boy and he didn’t need the advice from love experts anymore.

Then, with a smile, he turned back to Lance, instantly diving in for another kiss.

He had lost time to make up for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this fic and getting to the end! I hope you enjoyed all of Keith’s awkwardness and the tips to seduce a man. 
> 
> If you enjoyed this fic please leave a comment and kudos!
> 
> You can visit me on tumblr at @salparadiselost. So don’t hesitate to say hi!  
>  I promise I don’t bite all the time.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading my story! Please consider leaving a comment and kudos!


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